June 23, 2006

PATASKALA, OH — Some golfers are Mr. Consistent. Some struggling golfers like Jeff Miller are Mr. Inconsistent. What else can you call big guy from Dublin, OH who has posted scorecards in the triple digits and also below 80.

Some think it should be Mrs. Inconsistent. "His inability to post three scorecards by mid-June is lady-like," says Mike Davis. "How else do you define a single girly-man that cannot be consistent?"

Miller posted rounds of 31 and 33 points this season, however his opening round was 24-over par compared to his previous round in late-2005 of just 7-over par.

"Despite the rumors surrounding my game, I am still in control of my life and my golf swing," said Miller after his round at Cumberland Trail. Jeff's mother immediately surfaced from the crowd, "I would prefer the media pick apart my son's eagle during Round 1 at the Neuse instead of focusing on the dirty parts of his game. My son's eagle was the most quiet eagle in Championship history."

She continued, "Watch him play, swear and throw clubs. But also report the things my little Jeff brings to the game. He is a good kid with a good heart and the Skills Challenge Trophy."

"Let Mrs. Inconsisent speak," came from the crowd of reporters. Jeff replied, "I think we ought to cancel this interview."

The reporter responded, "Well, that would be my loss Jeff. We always look forward to speaking with you and your mother."

Jeff fired towards the reporter arriving at the fan gate surrounding the interviewing area with finger pointing. "Get out of my face! If you’re going to ask me a question, then step back, and let me answer! I wish we lived in a day where you can challenge a person to a duel. Now that would be a great day."

The reporter exclaimed, "I see your scorecard at Cumberland Trail. There are 10 bogeys and 7 pars. Can you give us a shot-by-shot explanation behind the quadruple-bogey on the 11th hole? That was a round killer.

Miller jumped the fence, chased the reporter with mother closely behind and beat him with a 7-iron.

Jeff Miller is one scorecard short of entering the season-long 2006 Virtual Tournament. He is averaging 32.0 points per round, which would be good for 32nd position.