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Super Dave Osborne

May 4, 2007

DELAWARE, OH — Super Dave is supposedly an "accomplished" stuntman, though he rarely succeeds when performing the stunts depicted onscreen. His signature is to perform outrageous daredevil stunts which invariably go awry and result in his grievous injury. It is more of the same as Super Dave signs to play golf at his first major championship in southern Michigan.

Osborne signed late after nabbing the 62nd spot in the talent field of players. Super Dave brings 25 years of golf cart stunts to Michigan.

Super Dave is an RSG-Ohio 2005 Schmajor winner and looking to elevate his game to a new level even with his "Boland-like" 5-foot 4-inch 175-pound frame.

"I heard about the cart crash in North Carolina," said Dave Osborne from his desk at Netjets. "These guys never had a fighting chance. The tournament needs a ramp and golf shirts made from genuine Saskatchewan seal skin to provide an increased jump rate."

Osborne is the winner of nothing and holds ties to Jamestown, NY. He averages 9.8 bogeys per round and holds a similar stroke handicap. Super Dave has paid his dues at the local driving ranges, annual golf leagues and plenty of member-guest tournaments.

Osborne added some specific comments regarding his success. He said, "Being a tour rookie, I will not make the mistakes my predecessors have made before me: not indulging in food, laying up on par 5's, using milk instead of beer in their cereal, and indulging in too much entertainment each night. I plan to get my rest and indulge during the tournament for maximum performance effect."

"This guy is crazy," says member Chris Milam. "Not Chuck Long crazy, but much much worse. There is no question about Super Dave's strategy. Carries of 200 yards over marsh land appears to be a joke to someone with his experience."

Super Dave Obsorne is very short, but accurate off the tee. If the putting game shows-up, he could be a deadly little varmint.

The 2007 Carl Spackler Open Championship begins play at the Grande Golf Club on June 6 with the annual practice round. All golfers are expected to arrive by Wednesday evening for the Welcome Party at the Beach Bar.