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Hole 1: Par or Pay

September 6, 2007

ALPINE LAKE, WV — Greg Long, the 8-year member of Golfapalooza, who is signed without financial commitment to Golfapalooza XI was asked to hold a press conference and discuss his new book, “Memories: How I lived Golfapalooza”, which is due out to book stores in a couple of weeks.

Long, a.k.a. Slick, was asked to walk through Chapter 5, which is titled, “The Front Nine” as it provides his insights of how to play the Ron Forse par 72 golf course. His book includes a blueprint for tournament success and few stories along the way. Slicked opened his book tour saying, "I cannot imagine all the stories to be told even on the golf course," said Slick. "I have done my best to take notes along the way. I hope everyone enjoys my book due out in a couple of weeks. I will highlight Chapter 5 today, but Chapter 9, “Garrett County Memorial Hospital” will make my book a best seller."

"Hole 1, Par or Pay, is pretty straight forward at 282 yards slightly downhill. The green is arguably the most flat on the golf course with Hole 5, 17, and 18 as contenders in that area. As easy as it that might sound, there are consistently more bogeys than pars.

Pat Boland decided years back there was a great business opportunity on the "easy" hole. Basically he would double your money if you made par. Just as Vegas was not built on winners, Pat Boland's 401k is not built on pars.

The first couple of years I opted out. Taking money on an easy bet wasn't the right thing to do. After seeing the statistics and Boland's profit margin, I decided it was time to obtain a chunk of his profit.

My best or most lasting memory of Hole 1 is probably with the late Don McFarland and Boland back in September 2003," said Long of his third tournament. "McFarland is probably the biggest talker in the history of Golfapalooza. This Miami Dolphin trash talking son of a bitch made Brent Kaniecki look passive.

He and Boland went back in forth one night in the cabin regarding Don’s ability to par Hole 1. It got heated a couple of times as Pat took the statistical side of the argument. The traditional par bet of $5 moved up throughout the night. $20... $50... $100... before I went to bed. I woke up Thursday morning to learn the bet exceeded $200 at the poker table around 4:00AM.

There was a nasty feel all morning as a quiet tension built. High noon crept closer and closer. McFarland showed up quietly to the first tee box with a Terrell Owens-type face and 20 loozers waited to see the result. Don hit his approach to 3 feet. He birdied and not a word the rest of the weekend about Hole 1."