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Headed for Texas

February 15, 2010

OIL CITY, PA — Heavy beer drinker William 'Bill' Bateson and the always inquisitive Jay Dilks have signed to play golf at the 2010 Carl Spackler Open says a report out of the Captains Club Business Office. The much anticipated return of Dilks was rumored for the better part of six months.

Bateson returns for his 6th straight tournament and 7th overall. Jason Dilks returns for his 8th major.

"The decision for Bateson to return was easy decision," said a source close to the event. "The venue is the pinnacle of a party atmosphere, which would make any decision to skip the event would be damaging to his image and legend."

The Ohioan finished his last event with sole ownership of 38th position. He found lightening in a bottle early Saturday morning. Bateson carded a career low even par front nine at Poplar Grove Golf Club. The thunderous 47 point front nine rocketed him up the Leaderboard quickly.   Mr. Bateson has not surfaced above 30th position since 2006 when he finished in tie for 13th place. The North Carolina result was his career best.

Jason 'Jay' Dilks returns after skipping the 2009 event in Virginia.

"I have never been so focused to compete at a high level for a Major Championship," said Dilks in a written statement. "I have started my off-season training again with yoga, high intensity pilates, increased meat consumption and badmitten drills."

Dilks returns after a disappointing finish in Peru, IN. The Pennsylvanian struggled to finish inside the Top 50 for the first time in his legendary career.

"Some guys would suggest there is a lot of room for improvement," says friend Jeremy Myers referring to his 49th place finish. "In my opinion, the fans of southern Texas should be more than satisfied with his long drives, long sexy legs, and cute approach shots. I am sure security will be beefed up this year to keep the cattle of fans at bay."

Other suggest that Dilks is an overrated player. A player that struggles on the greens and out of sand traps. The criticisms most likely come from fans who have seen him miss one key putt after another. Jason Dilks is statistically the 50th best putter in Spackler history.

Other would suggest that Jay Dilks has always been a crowd pleaser with ticket sales rising 25 percent everytime Dilks registers and plays in a public event.

The 2010 Carl Spackler Open Championship has registered 22 participants from 8 different states including Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Indiana, West Virginia, Ohio, Virginia, North Carolina, and Texas.