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Rookie Relations

March 14, 2011

PITTSBURGH, PA — It can be intimidating to enter a major golf tournament. It is so different from the high school game. The players are much slower, beer is available, music can be in the air, courses are more difficult, and the pressures increase tenfold. You want to try and do the best you can, but one particular rookie is ready.

Mike Long, a.k.a. Sheiker, filed his paperwork back in December to participate in the 2011 Carl Spackler Open. The 12-year left-handed attendee of Golfapalooza finally committed to Spackler with the event returning to his home state.

"No rookie relations here," said Sheiker. "My agent wants me to be upfront and clear from the beginning to protect my image. I am not related to these other Long's attending. There is no family relationship whatsoever."

Long registers as one of the best +33.4 stroke handicaps to ever pick up a golf club. He has been heavily recruited by Slick, Dosky, Double G, Randy Watson, Pat Boland, and Butter Flanagan.

"It is about time," says buddy Brian Flanagan. "Sheik will fit into the Carl Spackler Outfit better than most."

The signing has been years in the making. "I work in corporate finance, which makes vacations in early parts of the month quite difficult," said Sheiker of his rookie attendance. "I changed jobs in October 2010 to set in motion a 2011 registration. Spending quality time with Mike Lewis and Jon Munksgard in September 2010 sealed the deal for me."

Pat Boland had only one comment and question. "Sheiker's money is easy money. How many strokes do you want this time?"

Sheiker playing partners can expect 5 bogeys in a row and then 5 quadruple bogeys in a row. "My game is not consistent," says Sheik. "I made my hole-in-one once and then tripled the next two holes; that's my game in a nutshell."

Long wanted to make sure one thing was clear to the tournament field. "I am coming up to Mountain Valley to win a Golden Jacket, drink some beer, and laugh my ass off. It is not often I get an opportunity to do these things over more than a day; I have never had a chance to win a Golden Jacket until now. It will look great hanging in my closet."

The 2011 Carl Spackler Open Championship is collecting participating options during the entire month of March. There are 92 participants and 23 rookies expected for the 11th annual birthday party.