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Chicken Wing Debacle

February 3, 2005

GLEN ALLEN, VA — The 2005 On Tour Championship begins in 4 days.  Nobody discounts the importance of their first championship and critical distance.  Especially when the Top 10 golfers on the PGA Tour are in the Top 30 in driving distance.  Scott Zavinski and Joey Butkus in an effort to improve their distance and accuracy off of the tee both signed a deal with the devil IE, Titleist and purchased 983K Drivers.  

When questioned as to how the new club is holding up, Scott replied,"So So!"  Joey Butkus heard the question and said, "How much did we pay for these?"  The two players from Glen Allen, VA are trying to insure a win at this years open by working on the driver.  

Tom McCauley, a Captains Club member who was at the national Spackler business administrative meeting in Washington, DC heard the news and replied, "What are these guys doing?  Changing clubs with 130 days is suicide.  Especially since they are leaving their home course to play a national tournament course that will not promote distance, but pinpoint accuracy."

Fellow competitor Mike Herron was over heard saying, "These guys need to fix those raggedy golf swings.  A proper golf swing could help them win the tournament with clubs from the local range barrel."

Scott Zavinski has been struggling with his "over-the-top" move that has promoted a slice for years.  "Scotty Z. should call George Purdue because he might take that chicken wing off his hands for free", says Herron.  "Clubs are not made for that type of ball striking."  Crossings Head Professional said, "He needs to spend some time with me, but must allow a change that feels like a completely different animal."

Joey Butkus continues to record scorecards in the high-90 with no improvement in sight.  "My club change is a desperate move towards my quest for the 2005 Golden Jacket and Top 5 finish in 2005 On Tour Championship.  My family and friends deserve a national championship trophy in the Crossings Clubhouse and I intent to do what it takes."

A blanket of white snow covered the Crossings last week including a snow storm that allowed the boys to take a vacation from golf and do a little sled riding.  Rest assured, with new clubs, the boys of Glen Allen will be posting scorecards as soon as the green grass returns.