July 17, 2005

BUFFALO, NY — Fellow Spackler members, if you are playing a round of golf and suddenly hear a powerful roar that hits you like rolling thunder coming over the hills' fear not. It is only the call of Captain?s Club member Michael Trojanowski.  

A man who is able to harness his inner anger and fury to deliver monstrous drives off the tee along with a yell that often can be heard 2-3 states away. The ability to channel his inner feelings and the discipline he has to remain in a state of perfect physical control and psychological balance is what makes Trojanowski a true Zen Master.

Granted there have been other Masters throughout history. Confucius, Buddha, Spock, but none like Michael Trojanowski. Myers believes, "Troj is good at channeling his hostility toward a release both physical and vocal in hammering his drives much like he would prefer to hammer something else.  For the most part, his Zen state helps him.  But it would behoove society to keep his actions in check."

There has been much speculation about what Trojanowski thinks during his state of Zen.  Myers doesn't think that will ever be discovered. "Troj's mind is much like the farthest reaches of space and deepest trenches of the seas," says Myers. "Very uncharted, dark, and unpredictable." Captains Club member Jason Dilks has witnessed Trojanowski's Zen state used for other purposes than golf.

Dilks was quoted as saying, "Troj is the only person I have ever known that can eat a half-gallon container of chocolate putting while watching football.  This has to be Zen like in order concentrate on the task at hand." Dilks further commented "I also believe Troj's Nubbins putter allows him to retreat into a Zen like state of mind on the greens."  

Myers has also witnessed Trojanowski using his Zen powers outside of golf. "The only other Zen state is how Troj can morph himself into a truly great father when his daughter is around.  His little grasshopper is bound to pick up extensive wisdom from her father as he as has learned via the school of what not-to-do?."

Dilks further revealed, "Troj's Zen magic has taught him what it takes to be a champion and has allowed him to take the Tour to another level. His swing resembles Babe Ruth and coincidentally Yankee stadium is the House that Ruth built. I feel the tour is what Troj has built.  Zen Master, maybe. But the Babe Ruth of Spackler is more to the point." Myers believe that "Troj is the Bagger Vance of Spackler."

Captains Club member Greg Long has a more secular viewpoint, "There is only so much power you can exert with the left arm during a proper golf swing. Troj quadruples that with the right arm while keeping the club in the proper position. That is where he finds the edge over the field. Nothing more."

To be Zen or not to be Zen is the question to be. Master Trojanowski was unavailable for comment. It is believed that he is currently secluded in the Tibetan mountains under going deep psychological and physical purification.