News Release
Depend Dancing
True Crapper
Impressive
Best Picture Deadline
Picking a Venue
Zero for Bogey
Mickelson-like Debacle
Hack Fest
Jim Rules Rob
Boland Wins Dooty Award
Best Picture
Spackler Hat Rescue
Shawn Long Wins Open
Home Course Advantage
The Boys of Summer
Championship Preview
Can Dosky Repeat?
Changes for 2006
Purses, Poop & The Paparazzi
Entertainment Set
Deliriously Wasted

July 27, 2005

MAHANOY CITY, PA — In case you were wondering, drinking is a major part of the Carl Spackler Open. In fact, we are certainly one of Americas most notorious alcohol consumers. The legendary alcohol consumption has entered an acting stage.  Tom Fowble and Chris Lashley make it appear as if they are deliriously wasted beyond mental stability.  

"There are two angles to drinking on a tournament stage.  The logistical matter of the drinking and the challenge of acting drunk," says a very sober Chris Lashley.  "If you are not going to drink at Spackler, you must be able to fit the part.  I strongly believe I fit the part and have taken Fowble under my wing."

Fowble contacted Lashley after feeling sober and out of place.

The logistical part ensures constant preception of alcohol consumption and repulsive behavior.  Lashley explains that beer is sparkling cider shaken to help it form a head when poured or an empty beer can left on a table.  "It is just a matter of being smooth. Most people see my beer can and just assume," says Lashley.  "You get those weird faces going, people think you are wasted, and you just fit in with the crowd."

The leads into the second part. Appearing very drunk.  "Chris takes the time, breaks the process down, and clearly explains the keys to acting inebriated," says Fowble.  "With the exception of a face or two, it all boils down to trying especially hard to not act drunk. The biggest reason he explained was that most people who are boozed are trying to act sober." This tactic usually manifests itself in over-enunciation and actions that are too carefully studied.  "The only other requirement is ridicilous sweating of the forehead," says Lashley.  "The more sweat, the better."

Lashley finally discussed the most difficult part of acting like an alcoholic at Spackler.  Imitating physical symptoms has been the most difficult to master.  There are sad drunks, happy drunks, and some angry drunks. "The choice of the emotional effect depends on the social environment," says Lashley.  "For example, when I want expose my drunkeness quickly and physically, I will jump up on stage, rip off my shirt, make a quick face, and purposely trip off the stage into 2 or 3 people.  That usually does the trick."

There you have it.  The true understanding on what it takes to be sober and included.  The 2005 Carl Spackler Open consumed an estimated 2,600 beers in 4 days last June.  Although, that demanded 40 beers per golfer (10 beers per day), Fowble and Lashley did their best to appear as if they are consuming 18-24 beers per day.