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True Crapper
Impressive
Best Picture Deadline
Picking a Venue
Zero for Bogey
Mickelson-like Debacle
Hack Fest
Jim Rules Rob
Boland Wins Dooty Award
Best Picture
Spackler Hat Rescue
Shawn Long Wins Open
Home Course Advantage
The Boys of Summer
Championship Preview
Can Dosky Repeat?
Changes for 2006
Purses, Poop & The Paparazzi
Entertainment Set
New 2006 Procedures

August 22, 2005

GROVE CITY, OH — Mike Watkeys is still alive.  He has a green hat and a spot on the Horses Ass Award.  He also is one player who plans to pay his fees early this year.

"From what I hear, Mountain Valley was an excellent time," says a disappointed Watkeys.  "My fee will be sent before Christmas this year.  Maybe the entire thing."

The tournament financing will take a new direction in 2006.  Rick Dosky explained the process while the "red hats" gathered around him for support.

"We are very excited about 2006 for many, many reasons," says an upbeat Dosky.  With a quick change of face, he said, "We do hate 2 things.  Excuses and bill collecting."  As Rick's face turned red, he kept his composure, "Let me repeat the most important word in that statement.  Hate."

"Beginning in 2006, the tournament office will have new non-negotiable procedures.  

First, non-refundable deposits are still in order.  Deposits will be lost because we hate changes.  It is not as simple as replacing someone. If you cancel out, don't expect your deposit back.  We have taken 20 of them already and you are not going to be different. The money is given to charity or will recoop tee time deposit.

Second, if your non-refundable deposit arrives late to my mailbox, those players will not even be considered until their entire tourney fee arrives regardless of excuse.  The new procedure will assume late deposits will be followed by late payments in the future.

Third, you will not be considered a member of the field without a posted player photograph online.  You have 4 months to obtain a photograph.  

Fourth, all cancellations in May/June will increase the percentage of player tournament fee loss by 3 percent per day.  If you cancel on May 15, you lose the non-refundable deposit and 45% of the remaining tournament fee.  The money is given to charity or will help your roommate pay the room fee.

Lastly, the full tourney fee will be required on January 3, 2007 for players that have a balance on May 1, 2006.

We are very sorry these new procedures are required, but it will ensure a well run collection process.  Everyone will be given a choice well in advance and we believe that works out for the best of everyone involved.

The Captains Club would like to be clear to everyone.  The process is simple, without negotiation, communicated non-verbally, and very proactive.  Everyone has a choice starting in 2006."

The 2006 Carl Spackler Open venue is targeted in Michigan, West Virginia, and Kentucky.  A possibility of the Carolinas has surfaced.