News Release
Depend Dancing
True Crapper
Impressive
Best Picture Deadline
Picking a Venue
Zero for Bogey
Mickelson-like Debacle
Hack Fest
Jim Rules Rob
Boland Wins Dooty Award
Best Picture
Spackler Hat Rescue
Shawn Long Wins Open
Home Course Advantage
The Boys of Summer
Championship Preview
Can Dosky Repeat?
Changes for 2006
Purses, Poop & The Paparazzi
Entertainment Set
Entertainment Set

June 1, 2006

RALEIGH, NC — The 2006 Carl Spackler Open has been exceeding expectations for years. The Captains Club was presented with a huge problem after Madness on the Mountain in 2005. How can the tournament continue to exceed expectations?

Start with pure golf course with top conditioning, add beer, a bus for safe worry-free transportation and upgraded lodging. Then toss in a venue with more entertainment options at its finger tips than any other in the history of the tournament. The hype is true. Believe it. Jason Dilks commented, “This is going to be one to remember. Idiots that chose to stay home and mow the lawn are going to hear stories and regret their decision. I enjoy making people who make dumb mistakes feel even worse.”

Wednesday’s schedule is published online and takes the field to Napper Tandy’s Irish Pub, formerly known as Ri Ra. Donny Creighton commented to one of the staff members on a recent visit, “You’re rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body”. The group has the option to take advantage of the Wednesday Night $6.00 All You Can Eat Wings from 8 PM to 10 PM and $6.00 Pitchers of Miller Lite & Yuengling. Last but not least is the jewel in the crown, Karaoke starts at 10 PM. "I really like Wednesday's lineup," said tournament organizer Jeremy Myers. "The field is sure to offer at least one Horse’s Ass candidate out of this atmosphere."

Thursday’s destination continues on the same pattern. The Pour House Music Hall will offer the field live music and specials sure to please. Kevin Long, Jr. stated, “There is nothing better then loading up the Gold Bond while hanging out with your boys drinking a cold one and listening to some good music.”  The Pour House will be doling out $4 tall/double drinks and an amazing $1 Pabst Blue Ribbon beers. "I have not heard of Pabst in 3 years," said Tom McCauley. "I think God wants me to get reaquainted." The Pour House also serves over 30 drafts beer selections to pleasure your pallet. “If you cannot have a good time here, you are incapable”, commented Grady Walters.

Friday offers another fantastic deal for the members of the tournament.  The Flying Saucer Draught Emporium, which is one block from the hotel, will be serving up $1.50 Bud Light and $2.50 Blue Moon/Yuengling pints.  Not to mention, they’ve provided the entire field of players with 20% off food order coupons for the entire week. “This place is the closest thing to heaven on Earth. We are talking about a plethora of beers on tap not to mention those girly outfits. We are going to have to keep on eye on certain field members in that joint," stated Matt Davis. "I do not even trust myself." Additionally, the Flying Saucer will be offering 25 cent wings on Thursday starting at 7 PM. “Talk about setting you up nicely.  I’ll be hitting them up for a sandwich or some wings before I drown myself in Blue Ribbon Beer," stated Bill Bateson.

Saturday’s climax ends at Hi5. The Awards Dinner is scheduled to begin at  9:00 PM after scoring and awards preparation is complete. The field is encouraged to grab a midday snack to allow there guts to make it until they are pummeled with awesome tastes sure to please. “I personally visited Hi5 Memorial Day weekend," said a confident Jeremy Myers. "My burger was out of this world and my wife got the crab cake. People are going to be pleased." All of these venues are within a short walk from the Clarion Hotel.

The 2006 Carl Spackler Open begins in 7 days. Maps to each establishment will be available at the front desk of the hotel. The 17 rookies are one lone scorecard from the scorecard requirements.