June 23, 2010
The Red-Headed Slut: Part 3
BARNESVILLE, PA — The small portion of the Carl Spackler Open stormed Mountain Valley 10 days ago. The nine members from Virginia, Ohio, and Pennsylvania played 36 holes before attending the deck party.
The clubhouse had approximately 1,000 people and Gibson had left the outdoor table for the bar.
Greg Long turned his back and proceeded to tell the Mountain Valley staff 'the story of the Tom McCauley turtle incident' back in June 2008.
"Walt and the general manager really could not believe the first half of the story," says Long of the quick story. "I am about half way through and I get slightly jammed in my rib. I ignored it because of the crowd size and continued with the story. I almost immediately get jammed again in the rib. I have probably 30 seconds of story telling left and Garrett leans over while laughing and trying to breathe, 'You need to turn around right now. Your request is here.'"
Slick turned around, processed the view, and started to laugh. The entire table including Walt and Pork were laughing to the point of near tears," said Slick. "My laughing developed into a cry for 5 minutes. I was not more than 4 minutes into the turtle story and Gibson was standing in front of me with 13 red-headed-sluts. We all did the shots together and added a permanent red-headed slut to the table for the evening."
The general manager asked Walt if he thought the group needed another case of beer. Walt said, "These guys can drink anything you put in front of them." The Mountain Valley staff delivered a case of Yuengling a few minutes later to the table.
Pork started telling the small group that security would be throwing people out at 10:01PM. "He told us to stay at the table regardless of what we are told," said Bobby Owens, Jr.. "He must have told me 3 times in the span of an hour."
The group continued to consume the case of beer sitting on the table. Brian Long and Mike Gibson could be defined as 'noticably intoxicated'.
The general manager Steve asks, "Is that your motor home out front?" Garrett replies, "Yes." Steve says, "You guys are not driving that tonight. There are showers in the basement and the motor home will be hooked up to the clubhouse for electricity and water." Walt adds, "I will be here by 5:00AM for breakfast."
A few girls joined the table conversation. "Where are you guys headed at 10:00," said Shelly. "We are staying here," said Owens. Shelly replies, "You cannot stay. They throw everyone out."
Owens replies, "I plan to stick around." Shelly replies, "I come up here all the time. Security will completely clean this place out in a matter of minutes. Nobody can stay."
The evening went on and Brian Long got a lot more drunk. The 10:00 hour arrived and the music stopped. A uniformed security started to clean the place out. A security officer walked up to the table and said, "Pack up. You need to leave."
Pork stepped forward and replied, "They are with me. It is OK." The security guard looked at the group and back at Pork. He yelled, "This table over here is clean!" The entire clubhouse was empty by 10:10 with the exception of employees, Carl Spackler Open members, Pork, red-headed slut, and two other girls including Shelly.
"We sat around and socialized with the bartenders (including the sisters) and waitresses until 12:30AM," said Kyle Marti of the evening. "Pork thought it was important we finish the 12-pack sitting on the table."
The group exited the clubhouse around 12:30AM. Pork assisted with plugging the motor home into the clubhouse.
"I fell asleep right away, but was awoken by Brian almost falling down the stairs of the motor home and into the parking lot." There are numerous unconfirmed reports of a man puking in an empty parking lot at the Mountain Valley around 1:15AM.
The motor home pulled out about 45 minutes after sunrise (5:33AM), which put departure at 6:15AM. Walt waved from the clubhouse front door, Slick was hungover, and the group proceeded towards Blue Ridge Trail for their 9:00AM tee time.
"That was history," said Garrett. "I have officially spent 23 consecutive hours at a golf course. Not inside a golf resort, but a golf course."
The small group played 18 holes at the 27-hole Blue Ridge Trail on Saturday. They visited numerous nightlife in both Hazleton, PA and Pottsville, PA including the River Inn (now the Days Inn), Yuengling Brewery, and Maroon's Sports Bar.
The group returned home on Sunday after a round of golf at Jack Frost National, which is located in the Pennsylvania Pocono Mountains.