June 5, 2006

CLAYTON, NC — The remaining stretch to the 2006 Carl Spackler Open is short.  Only a few days are left for field members to get in their last rounds of practice and work out the kinks in their game.  The stakes remain the same, a tournament purse and trophy are just the salad to the steak.  The Golden Jacket is the prize everyone is seeking.

The field has several familiar faces that are sure to drawn crowds of concerned homeowners out to the fairway edges to watch for missile-like balls rocketing towards their sliding glass doors.  Jon Munksgard, Rick Dosky, and particularly the return of Shawn Long have the Homeowner’s society at the Neuse up in arms.

“This course isn’t going to know what has hit it,” exclaimed a zealous Marty Zabonik.  “I feel like I’m really going to kick it into high gear and demonstrate how good I truly can be”.  Zabonik is one of several players that are sure to be leading the pack after round one.  Ravinder Bakshi is looking to rebound from his showing at Mountain Valley.  “I think it was that sweet air.  I live near LA.  That fresh oxygen shocked my lungs”.  Jeff Miller is also grasping for glory and apparently has been working on his swing all year.  “I am confident that most of these bums aren’t going to touch my game.  I’ll be putting on a clinic”.

This year’s event returns to the oppressive Carolina heat.  The smell of Pine will permeate throughout this year’s selected course, The Neuse.  “I wouldn’t be surprised if we have a few medical defaults”, stated a shrewd Chris Lashley.  “The Yankees coming down below the Mason-Dixon line don’t have a clue what the temperatures are capable of doing”.  George Siedel is making the trek from Michigan.  “I’m not worried about being able to cope with the heat.  It isn’t like I live in an igloo”.

Speaking of igloos…Don Creighton has procured some unbelievable transportation for this year’s event, The Party Bus.  “I simply cannot wait to go wild on that thing.  Did you see the pictures?  Unreal”, comment Donny.  The tournament’s coach is completely pimped out and will supply the field with safe and sober transportation while allowing them to further become less and less sober.  “I would equate it to giving my kid a key to the candy shop.  Sooner or later, he’s going to get sick”, stated Chad Long.  Hopefully, Chad won’t forget his “missing” club at the course and make the bus make a “necessary” return trip to the Neuse in search of it.

Just as there are those that are certain to complete for glory, there are those bound to experience the tragedy of defeat.  “The single thing this tournament does that others don’t is publicly humiliate its worst competitor”, warned Kyle Marti.  The Al Czervik and Carl Spackler outfits will be on display reminding the field of what may be ahead for those that don’t at least keep there head above water.  “I’ve never been so uncomfortable in my entire life.  Those pants were like a wetsuit.  There is nothing worse then wearing wool on an 80 plus degree day”, stated the original Al, Jay Myers.  “Although, that bartender said my butt looked good in that plaid”.  Mike Herron, the 2005 Carl Spackler, returns in 2006 to prove a point.  “Last year was just a fluke.  I know I’m better then that.  Hanging out until 4:00 AM on the day you are supposed to tee off at 8:00 AM has obvious effects on a person’s game”.

This year’s format has been modified in several ways.  The Captains Club has created several new approaches to old issues to speed things along.  The off-the-course Closest to Pin, will be in a Firing Squad arrangement.  Additionally, most tee times will be a shotgun set up.  “We felt like we needed to allow some additional time for folks between golfing and entertainment activities”, commented Tom McCauley.  “Plus, people are getting tired of me winning”.

Several stories are sure to surface as the tournament nears and players begin their migration south.  Who will be the next Cinderella story?  Who will be the next to make a Horse’s Ass out of themselves?  Who will be the next create a moment that falls into Spackler lore?

FAST FACTS FOR THE OPEN CHAMPIONSHIP

DATE: June 8, 2006 - June 10, 2006

PURSE: $ 349 dollars -- 1st Place

WINNER: The beloved Golden Jacket and 2006 Championship Trophy

DEFENDING CHAMPION: Rick Dosky, 129 Points

DEFENDING CARL SPACKLER: Mike Herron, 49 Points

FORMAT: 64 contestants play 54 holes, using the Poststat Point System, accumulating points. The field will be reduced to one winner and one loser after round three. A daily Spackler tournament Leaderboard will be updated.