July 13, 2006

CLAYTON, NC — The writing was on the wall last June at The Neuse. Matt Pritchard needed to play well or accept being the worst player in Spackler history; a true Crapper. Would his lack of success continue into his 3rd major and be left floating in the Neuse clubhouse toilet?

In June 2004, Matt's crap play started at Tanglewood Park. He took home the Dooty Award with horrible putting and finished in 46th position after Round 2 escaping the Al Czverik Outfit. Then scored a tournament high 28 points in the final round; good enough to place 43rd in a field of 47.

"He was sober most of his rookie season," said a very drunk Tom McCauley at the Flying Saucer. "That was a good move. Mike Watkeys sure wishes he shared some of his tequila with him. That would have meant one less outfit for him at Tanglewood."

He returned to the major championship that has attempted to make him a star. He placed 33rd in a field of 68. The average leaderboard position at Mountain Valley was despite two crappy rounds on Friday and Saturday. A 39-point first round was enough to show everyone he has the potential in northern climates. His putting turned around in the Barnesville tournament; jumping from 8 to 24 points.

Despite the average finish in 2005, the Neuse was on the calendar for months with Matt near the bottom of the Spackler success rankings. A poor finish would certainly bring home the Crapper Award and designation of the worst player in Spackler History.

Pritchard opened the tournament week with a practice round. It came with very little success including one par (the most difficult hole) on the back nine, which had lots of competitors scratching their heads. He shot above bogey golf and really felt the pressure before most of the field checked into the hotel. "One par on an easy back nine is terrible," said partner Jean Dore after the round. "Hole 17 is a gimmie par. We all struggle, but the back nine slapped him around like it was his pimp."

Pritchard returned to the hotel looking for a way to turn things around. He was up bright and early on Thursday morning hoping to put a neuse on the golf course.

"Tournament officials informed me months ago of my successes, failures and the consequences of further crappy play," said Pritchard on the range before the opening round. "I was really nervous about playing horrible and that is never a good thing."

Matt opened the tournament with another dismal 21 points and 13-over par back nine including only one par. "My game is terrible," said a very frustrated Pritchard after his round. "Maybe 9 points today."

Pritchard returned to the range on Friday morning with a new care-free attitude that lasted about 3 hours. "The back nine is killing him," said Round 1 partner Joe Butkus on the range. "I have never seen someone get slapped around like that. I was looking at the tournament sheets last night. He has 8 points on the back nine including the practice round."

After bogeying the opening hole of Round 2, Pritchard settled down and shot 2-over on the front nine. The 3-over par front nine was one putt from equaling his point total for 36 holes on Wednesday and Thursday. The stellar front nine ensured the outfit would not be in his closet on Friday night.

It was a shame the back nine was a tournament requirement.

With a hotdog and a sip of beer at the turn, the wheels came off quickly. The strokes piled up again as he scored a tournament high 8 points on the back nine. "It was hard to watch," said partner Jeff Miller. "He destroyed my game just watching it. I played horrible through the rest of the tournament. He mentally let the back nine put a neuse around his neck. Matt must be hearing the back nine in his head. He went from great to garbage in about 1 minute. He needs a sports psycologist."

The final round of 2006 arrived with continued crappy swings and crappy results, Matt Pritchard scored 19 points and another tournament high 8 points on the back nine. "He was really terrible on the back nine all week," said Mike Davis. "I'm sure that I sound like a broken record, but he is terrible down the stretch. I played worse than anyone this week, but cannot imagine being slapped around like he was on the back nine. It is definitely a complete mental breakdown. He is a marathon runner and should be a thoroughbred down the stretch, but he sucks. He obviously plays great when it does not count. Brad Faxon always says he putts like he does not care. It takes all the pressure off his stroke and pressure to make a putt. Maybe he should try that approach next year."

Pritchard finished tied for 57th position with a field of 64 players. Clearly enough to take home the 2007 Crapper Award. Pritchard presently holds a 386 success rating with Grady Walters with a 444 rating. The 2005 Crapper, Glenn Hoffert took home his first Top 5 finish at the Neuse placing 4th. He jumped into 3rd to last all-time with a 604 rating.

"Walters assumes added pressure starting next May," said Chairman Greg Long. "He has not placed in the upper half of the leaderboard in a 3-year attendance. However, for now and the next 331 days, Pritchard's game is floating in North Carolina toilets."