August 15, 2006

SELLARSBURG, IN — Tin Cup looked over the downhill slider for a brief moment. He struck the very fast putt and watched it drop into the hole.

After a huge rumble on the 11th green at Covered Bridge Golf Club, Roy McAvoy hopped up to the top of the tall grassy mound behind the green for the wonderful opportunity to meet Carl Spackler. A meeting that Carl embraced.

Greg Long, who fooled Costner into thinking he was Carl Spackler quickly asked, "Would you consider entering a prestigious golf tournament in 30 days? A tournament with cornhole, free golf, free bed, free beer and porn? The tournament officials are looking for someone that likes to go for it."

"What the heck are you talking about?" said a confused and startled Tin Cup. Slick replied, "Golfapalooza.com. I am asking you if you would like to play golf at a Brian Farse designed course with plenty of holes for you to go for it."

Roy replied, "That sounds like a lot of fun. Define 'go for it'." Slick paused, thought for a moment and remarked, "How about the opportunity to play a sharp uphill par-5 dogleg right? The chance to be a pussy and skirt your tee shot up the fairway 170 yards or take a power slice over the power lines and tall trees, cutting off 100 yards and positioning yourself for a great birdie opportunity or go down the road with a bomb off the tee setting you up for a great eagle opportunity?"

Roy replied, "Down the road?" Slick answered, "Yes. A carry of 290 yards or a risky straight bounce like Dave Simms did to take your car is all it takes to get the ball back in the fairway and inside 125 yards."

McAvoy stared as he envisioned the opportunity. He seemed even more impressed when Long muttered, "When was the last time you took a risk or experienced a defining moment?"

Roy replied, "This indeed sounds like a great opportunity. Where? How talented is the field?"

"You are indeed the front runner as a 10-handicap," Slick replied. "We really do not have high-end golf talent. Just a guy named Brent that thinks he is high profile and Patel, a 'soulless robot', who is rich, happy, and a powerful ass doctor."

Tin Cup said, "Patel sounds like a monster. I need a guy like that on my bag with Romeo always quitting. I hate guys full of themselves like Barry." Slick corrected Tin Cup and said, "Brent. Not Barry."

"Whatever," said McAvoy. "I do not like Dave Simms and Barry seems like that type of guy. Ten years at Golfapalooza and Barry is probably still a pussy, probably lays up all the time and never wins a thing."

Tin Cup paused and thought for a few seconds. Then said, "I will consider it, but I want the right to beat Barry's ass. Where is it?"

Long answered, "Brent. Not Barry and we play at the Alpine Lake Resort in Terra Alta. Roy smiled and said," Yes. Alpine Lake in secluded West Virginia where I can relax from the Hollywood hussle busle. That is my favorite course. I love the beach and hitting over the lodge. I love to go for it over the lake on Hole 11. I hit 26 balls in a row into the water once because I knew I could make that shot. Drive the ball inside 100 yards. Romeo quit that day. Good old Alpine Lake."

Tin Cup shook hands with Carl Spackler and stepped away saying, "Let me look at my calendar. I have a movie coming up and will be in touch if this is a go."

Golfapalooza begins in 36 days.