Aloha!
April 23, 2007
KANEOHE, HI — Erik Shirreffs, a.k.a. Devil Dog, of Hawaii has signed a national letter-of-intent to play golf at the 2007 Carl Spackler Open Championship, Mike Trojanowski of the Captains Club announced today. The rookie and Marine Corps parachutist will join the field for the annual 54-hole tournament as th 59th player.
Erik's golf skills are still invalid, but he is expected to have a legendary Dave Nickles-type scorecard that gives him 1 point for triple bogey. He also enters the tournament with a very strong iron play and forearm.
Devil Dog is expected to perform a clinic on Thursday. After golf, the self-taught guitarist will dazzle the field with his lovely singing voice and rendition of Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On". The clinic at Jerry's Pub is expected to even bring tears to eyes of member Mean Jean Dore of Virginia Beach.
"Shirreffs is not your average player," says member Pat Boland. "If he can keep the ball in play off the tee while drinking Mimosa, he can position himself for bogey on most holes. That can be gut wrenching for the rest of the field with fairways like the Grande."
Trojanowski commented further, "Devil Dog was one of the first Humvee's into Iraq. This is the kinda military-style leader we need to keep everyone in line. I am so excited to have someone around who can snap Pokey in two, which is something we have needed for years. I heard the movement of his eyes can have guys behaving. We are talking a lethally trained martial arts expert and Marine, which really makes Gumby look like a pussy. Why do these monsters sign up 5 years late?"
Shirreffs could struggle with his 6-hour time change during the practice round. "He needs to shake off the jet lag quickly," says buddy Matt Boland. "Nobody wants this guy in a bad mood."
The 2007 Carl Spackler Open begins play in 44 days. The mandatory player meeting begins at 8:00AM on Thursday, June 7. The tournament pairing sheets will be distributed at this time.