May 21, 2007

BROOKLYN, MI — With just over two weeks left before Round 1, the handicaps, pairings, and roommates have been set for the 7th annual Carl Spackler Open Championship. Final points will be updated just before the tournament, but general handicaps are available including the scramble team event. A press conference was called immediately afterwards to answer plenty of questions regarding the overall tournament.

The Chairman Greg Long, led the press conference inside the Spackler's regional Columbus Media center.

The first question was directed at the overall tournament and whether the Captains Club, golf course, and player services are ready. "This stands to be the greatest golf event ever held in the state of Michigan," says Greg Long. "I can say that knowing Tiger Woods will be in the neighborhood in 6 weeks for the Buick Open."

Long took a drink of his Budweiser and dove into the meat of the question. "Lets start with the course. Grande Golf Club demonstrates enough unique character and conditions to put it in my all-time Top 10. My worry is not whether the course will be enjoyed, but whether the large ragged bunkers will stalk golfers from tees and fairways. My main concern is only about whether the course is fan friendly enough and whether that will be become a distraction to our inexperienced members and rookies."

Long was mostly like referring to fan favorites Mike Lewis of Warren, PA and Scott Miller of Parkersburg, WV. Thousands are expected to flock through the unique design in hopes of getting a glimpse of a Lewis divot or Miller autograph.

A reporter asked about the greens and pin placements. "Very good question," exclaimed Long. "I have personally been in touch with Carl Spackler's boss at Grande Golf Club to ensure the best possible conditions," Long says. "Depending on traffic the week prior, we are putting on glass this year. Carl's boss has asked me to select pin placements this year and embraced the opportunity. I have been assured carts have been prohibited in the rough to ensure a thick 4 inch cut for the Open Championship. We have Championship standards and the Grande is doing a great job."

"We all need to say a prayer for heavy rain on June 2 and 3," says Long. "This will scare a high volume of foot and cart traffic off the golf course the weekend prior and result in near perfect conditions."

"That reminds me. The conditions will be as good as we can keep them. Everyone will be hitting approach shots on the greens this year. The greens are twice as big as your house. Repairing divots and raking sand is very important to achieving the best conditions. Professional divot repair instruction will be provided on Thursday at 10:06AM EST just off the first tee box. ex-Assistant Greenskeeper Tom McCauley will be sharing the facts instead of rumors behind divot repair."

Chad Long, Jason Watson, Kyle Marti, Mike Trojanowski, Brian Long, and Jason Ridgeway will return to the Grande with experience from 2005 and 2006 practice rounds. Bob Morris and Pat Boland are set to eye the Grande over the Memorial Day Weekend.

Long switched gears with the next question about possible a special player for 2007. "Before I forget, on behalf of the Captains Club, I want to also express our deepest field to date includes the return of Mike Watkeys after two straight years of crapping on the tournament. The 2004 Carl Spackler Outfit recipient has been a terrible competitor. The club is excited to see how he responds to the 2004 Outfit and absence for the past 1,000 days. Mike is a Michigan State University graduate from nearby Lansing, MI. His resume also includes a ballooning +30.6 stroke handicap and 2002 Horses Ass for crashing a golf cart into a tree and flying through the windshield. He is one decorated son of a bitch."

"Watkeys is the king of nightly entertainment. Our fun this year is quite special before you consider Watkeys," says Long. "The outside lakefront patio at the Beach Bar and deck at Jerry's Pub this year should host plenty of social butterflies. They are both stocked with a beer list and ready for Watkeys and his 63 friends."

The Captains Club finalized most of the plans last month and we are ready to execute. Long then verified those plans, "The Captains Club started early and is extremely prepared including backup plans for heavy rain. We all did a wonderful job this year and people will see everything either through TV coverage, website, attendance, or word of mouth."

"It has been fun inventing and providing the best opportunities for a fast growing golf tournament. The large budget helped us get everything we needed and wanted for this year's tournament including taxi service, casino, new logo flags, snacks, golf tools, hideway coolers, 7 meals, and thousands of dollars in giveaways and prizes."

"The tournament budget exceeded $27,000 this year. I would estimate the tournament field to drop approximately $35,000 in Brooklyn and Jackson local economies by June 10."

Long immediately picked out someone from the back of the room. "Sir, do you have a question?" The reporter asked about favorites and chances of highly-touted Rick Dosky winning again. Long replied, "My job is to simply level the field of players using the computer. In fact, I just let the computer do it, but techincally responsible for algorithm. We have added additional target points for the lowest handicaps in the field and guys that generally play the same golf course year around."

A waitress interrupted Long for a moment as she delivered his next beer. Long formally placed a few bills between her breasts for a tip, open his beer, and got back to business repeating part of the question to himself. "chances of Rick Dosky repeating... Well, Rick has been playing really well over the past couple of years. He just won Golfapalooza X back in September and watched his career winnings rise. The problem is Rick's swing. It is horrible and can be attributed to lack of play and Pat Boland last-second adjustments. It is very similar to driving a porsche down a road in a deep forest with no lug nuts. At some point, the porsche is going to hit 20 trees, flip over 6 times, and hit 5 more trees and end up in about ten-thousand pieces."

CEO Jeremy Myers shouted from the Captains Club table in the front. "I don't know about that. If we can teach a monkey to go to space, I would imagine Boland could teach Dosky to golf."

[the room busts out laughing]

A reporter asked, "Which golfer has the edge?"

"I think the average bogey golfer loses 3 or 4 balls each round at Carl Spackler Open-type golf courses," answered Long. "That can be very penal on a Leaderboard. This will drop by 70 percent in Michigan. This tournament is going to boil down to managing bunkers and putting from 100 feet on glass."

The next question asked about possible surprises.

"I am not sure about surprises, but the two most unnoticed aspects of the tournament experience this year will be our hotel and fairways. First, our activity room attached to the hotel allows the tournament to be managed with 60 percent less logistics. At $3.85 per golfer, that seemed impossible. Second, there has been an emphasis on the fairways this year. The average golfer struggles to play regularly from the fairway. There is nothing like playing from the fairway. Golfers will wonder how they shot such a high score and feel so good about their games. Those good moods will transition back into the tournament feel."

Long switched gears to entertainment. "I would like to talk about our entertainment, which is super. It is entirely different with live music and residing lakefront. The boat canals that residents use to get from house to Whamplers Lake is really cool. The scramble will be played in 8-somes, which turns the past golf event into entertainment."

Long asked if he could finish the conference with a quick overall summary of the week ahead. "Live lakefront music and Grande Golf Club are the foundations to an top-notch golf tournament, but our golfers ultimately control the experience. The large portion of our tournament field will experience golf at a personal best. A very intriguing golf course with top of the line conditions. Then music with a relaxing lakefront vacation-type atmosphere."

The 2007 Carl Spackler Open Championship will tee up at 10:03AM EST on Thursday. The Player Circle will return this year at 9:45AM EST.