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'Rock' Solid Putting
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C+
Position: Key to Jacket
Eightsomes Return
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Tournament Notebook
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Handicapping
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Luxurious Obese Fairways
Record-Low Food Prices

October 22, 2007

PERU, IN — Low priced restaurant food that was scarce last year at Beach Bar and Jerry's Pub will return in record fashion in June 2008, says a report out this week on the Carl Spackler Open. Captains Club member Mike Trojanowski was called in to verify the rumor and comment further on food pricing.

"In addition to your very inexpensive beverages and traditional fast food restaurants, our highlighted entertainment at Homer's Sports Bar & Fun Center is the largest caterer in town," said Mike Trojanowski, Vice President of Outfits & Catering. "We are simply amazed by the prices for food in Peru."

Homer's Sports Bar is located just 7 minutes from the hotel and on the shores of the Wabash River. The restaurant has inside seating and a covered patio for outdoor dining. The menu includes chicken wings under $6.00, hamburgers under $3.00, prime rib steaks under $13.00, and chicken dinner salads under $6.00.

The phone at the press table began ringing. A member of the business office answered it. Bill Dick, a member with 60+ years of golf experience, had telephoned from Texas into the press conference with a question. Dick asked, "How about some real food. How about Texas Toothpicks?" Trojanowski said, "Let me check, but your are getting ridiculous. Our tournament is not in Texas."

After a brief second or two, Trojanowski eyes opened as he shook his head, "I cannot believe that I am saying this, but they do have Texas Toothpicks. They are $3.25." [laughter from the reporters] Trojanowski attempts to control his laughter, "Bill, what are heck are Texas Toothpicks?" Dick replied, "Ask your buddy Watson in the back of the room. He is a Texan." Jason Watson with arms folded and legs extended shouts with confidence, "Troj... They are battered and fried slivers of onion and jalapeno."

Trojanowski shook his head again and continued, "Homer's without any financial negotiations will already provide the broadest entertainment, lowest priced food, and lowest priced beverage in event history. The opportunities surrounding Peru are unthinkable considering a city population of less than 13,000 people."

The Whiskey River Bar in downtown Peru is more of the same, but not as broad with it's menu items. The clubhouse at Rock Hollow Golf Club also has abnormally low priced menu during each day.

"We expect overall personal expenses to drop this year like never before or consumption of beverage and food to increase like never before," said Trojanowski. "This entire venue sounds quite appealing."

The 2008 Carl Spackler Open Championship is an open 54-tournament with a few participant qualifications including 139 strokes or less per round. The tournament is scheduled for June 5 at Rock Hollow Golf Club. Details surrounding participant registration begins on November 15.