August 31, 2007

ALPINE LAKE, WV — Brian "Butter" Flanagan announced the official scoring changes today in the Golfapalooza Four-Man and Two-Man Best Ball competitions.  "We've completed and extensive 3-month study and determined that Thursday and Friday events would be vastly improved if we switched from a 'best raw score' per hole format to a 'best MELC score' per hole format.  This will allow 2 important things to happen: all players will have an equal chance to contribute to the team's success, and teams will be more equal, regardless of the skill level of the partner or partners."

Slick, co-chair of the scoring committee, explained the change with the example that "with this new system, we can play with anyone we want in the first two rounds and we don't have to worry about having an A&B or ABC&D players on each team.  So if I want to go out on Friday with Quack as my 2 man partner, we would have no statistical advantage over a team with Bartlett and Patio."  One reporter was quick to point out a flaw, stating that the 'best MELC' format in this example does not factor in that team B would be playing in a self-induced, chemically altered, pscychotropic, mental fog.  "Hey, no system is fool proof," Slick replied, "and just take a look around at how many damn fools there are at a G event."

Butter also announced that all other scoring calculations will remain the same for GXI.  Long putt points (2 points can be awarded per hole for the longest putt made outside the length of the flagstick, one long putt per group) will not count towards best MELC hole score, but will still be used in the overall MELC Championship.  Skins will still be based on best raw score on a hole.  Two-Man scramble partners will continue to be determined using raw score top-to-bottom pairing, with the winner decided on low raw score.  Event champions will continue to defend, provided that all team members are in attendance.  Finally, closest to the pin on par 3's will still be calculated by measuring which ball is the closest one to the pin.

Butter was asked if any other changes were on the horizon.  "We have nothing major planned right now.  A motion has been submitted to impose a 5-MELC-point per infraction penalty on any Loozer who fails to yell 'hundred feet' when another Loozer fails to land their tee shot on 18 green.  Its an interesting idea, but I'm not sure it has broad enough support to even make it out of committee for a full vote."