September 5, 2007

ST. LOUIS, MO — It was reported in a recent article that Pat "Hurricane" Boland was questionable for GXI due to a heart attack.  The validity of this report has been questioned by some, but it is, in fact, the case.  I'm sure I speak for all Loozers in wishing Pat a speedy recovery, and a speedy return to the world of Golfapalooza, so that we may commence an appropriate level of hazing over the fact that he has had a heart attack.

In an effort to not hand Pat any setbacks in the recovery process, all Loozers have been asked by the Founding Fathers to make triple-bogey on number 1 on Friday.