September 12, 2007

ALPINE LAKE, WV — Greg Long, the 8-year member of Golfapalooza, continued to release smidges of his new book, “Memories: How I lived Golfapalooza”, which is due out to book stores in a couple of weeks. Long, a.k.a. Slick, was asked to walk through Chapter 5, which is titled, “The Front Nine” as it provides his insights of how to play the Ron Forse par 72 golf course.

“The 8th hole opens Amen Corner,” said Slick of the uphill par 3. “Hole 3 is your first test, but this is where you win and lose the tournament. These next 5 holes require mature shotmaking.

Amen Corner includes Holes 8, 9, 10, 11, and 12. The 8th hole is the first of five holes where you must perform while everyone else is not. It is where you become a mature loozer. It is where the tournament leaders make their move and everyone else buys and consumes two pepperoni rolls and a beer.

The 198-yard par 3 is the most difficult par 3 on the golf course. Everyone scores a two putt bogey or three putt double bogey here. Shooting average does not win trophies at Golfapalooza. The green has eroded into a slanted green sloping from back to front.

Over the green with your tee shot is worse than jail. It is like rooming with Ben Dover so never be long. Shoot for bogey and never consider par. You don't need to be pissed on the next tee box looking for your driver to release frustration. Think bogey, get a bogey, be happy, and give the skin to someone else.

As far as memories, I have no memories here. I will make up for it on the back nine."