September 12, 2007

ALPINE LAKE, WV — Greg Long, the 8-year member of Golfapalooza, continued to release smidges of his new book, “Memories: How I lived Golfapalooza”, which is due out to book stores in a couple of months. Long, a.k.a. Slick, was asked to walk through Chapter 5, which is titled, “The Front Nine” as it provides his insights of how to play the Ron Forse par 72 golf course.

“The 9th hole continues Amen Corner,” said Slick of the sharp dogleg left. “The hole is bassackwards for everyone except Brent and Sheik. It's your second opportunity to make a move on the leader or extend your lead.

It starts with the right club off the tee, an iron, and your wiener in your pants. Hit the stinger and don’t get fancy. It is a boring hole and you don't need to give it character. Too many guys involve the trees and lodge with no reward. I can drop a ball in the middle of the fairway at 100 yards and another at 150 yards. It does not change the result for anyone attending Golfaplooza.

Relax and get your bogey at the 8th. Hit stinger off the tee at the 9th.

Everyone would probably assume my most lasting memory of the 9th is my personal pursuit to hit one over the lodge and onto the green,” said Slick of the sharp dogleg left, which goes around the lodge. “Not so. Alpine Lake Resort has some very unique characteristics including their staff.

The pin was in the front of the 9th green back in September 2003. I hit our approach to the very back of the very deep green during the 2-man Scramble with Stacey Barlett as my partner. The other two loozers, Blankenburg and Pedro, were back in the woods looking for their ball so Bartlett and I rode up to the green.

I quickly verified our team ball on the back of the green and noticed two paid employees sitting quietly in a maintenance cart starring at me. They looked like Farmer Fran and Paco in the movie ‘Waterboy’.

I walked over to their cart while we waited and noticed the hole cutter in the back of their cart. ‘What’s up?’ I asked. They said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked, ‘What are you guys doing today?’ Paco replied, ‘We are moving the holes,’ as if they were doing nothing else the rest of the day. I had never heard of two guys needed to move a hole, but whatever. I said, ‘Those guys are going to be a while back there. Go ahead and move it now if you want,’ jokingly and realizing they just would not do it with a ball already on the green. I was so wrong.

Paco took the cutter out of the cart and onto the green while Farmer Fran sat their with his feet up on the dash for moral support. Fran placed the filled dirt into the existing hole and turns to me and asks, ‘Where do you think we should put it?’ Bartlett and I were speechless. I replied, ‘That is our ball on the back of the green’.

Paco heads back to the left back corner, places the hole plunger on the turf, and says, 'How about right here? This is about a straight putt as you will see out here.' Bartlett says, 'Looks good to me.'

We were laughing so hard that we never made the putt. I personally could not focus over the ball because I kept thinking of Paco and Farmer Fran and the consequences if we made it. I kept wondering if I should believe Paco. Will it roll straight or does it break left a smidge. Bartlett did not help with the line as he toed it while laughing. The putt was straight and Paco was correct."