September 18, 2007

ALPINE LAKE, WV — Greg Long, the 8-year member of Golfapalooza, continued to release smidges of his new book, “Memories: How I lived Golfapalooza”, which is due out to book stores in a couple of weeks. Long, a.k.a. Slick, was asked to walk through Chapter 6, which is titled, “The Back Nine” as it provides his insights of how to play the Ron Forse par 72 golf course.

"The 17th hole is not the most difficult hole on the golf course, but the statistics sure suggest it," says Slick of the 589-yard par-5. The tournament fields average 7.6 strokes per participant over a 7 year period. To me, that represents 600 rounds and we haven't learned anything. We collectively are averaging more than double-bogey-in-a-half, which makes you wonder what the worst 25 percent of the tournament field is carding.

If what we are doing is not working, we must try another avenue. Thinking about par is ridiculous when we are shooting 8, 9, and sometimes 12 strokes. We must stop using the most difficult club in our golf bags as a solution. When we consider bogey, this hole is defenseless with the exception of tall fescue down the right side. We must believe in ourselves that we can stay left and bogey this bitch every single time.

We must break this hole down mentally so it becomes an easy tackle. The green is the easiest putting surface at Alpine Lake without argument. If we can two-putt the easiest green on the golf course, we have 4 strokes to get there. The green is elevated on 200 tons of dirt so we do need club up. That means we need our approach from 100 yards.

Bottom line. This hole is virtually defenseless if you stay left.

There isn't a loozer in the tournament field that cannot hit a ball 489 yards in 3 shots. We are asking for 3 consecutive swings resulting in a somewhat straight left 165+ yards. Jack and Bartlett can do it. The problem is your sitting there saying, 'I can hit the ball much further than 165 yards.' That is the problem. You can't or we would not average a double-bogey-in-a-half.

We need 3 good swings from your favorite iron. Let your partners laugh until the scores are posted behind the green. You can do it and thank me later.

My most lasting memory of the 17th hole was after a rainy day during the 4-man Best Ball. I believe it was the year after Dieterle quit coming, which makes this memory from September 2004. May he rest in piece.

The 17th hole is an interesting hole and looks pretty good these days. Farmer Fran has done a heck of a job with the small low lying area in front of the green. It was ground under repair during my first 7 tournaments. This particular year it was a pond.

The 'jungle juice' had taken control of everyone. Spraguer (shown left in photo) had already decided the tee box sign needed removed using his shoulder. After he nearly separated his shoulder, we played our drives and second shots well past the bird house. My ball was on the green and I was walking up the massive dirt pile when I hear Bo Duke, i.e. Spraguer, driving the cart full speed up the middle of the fairway.

He nearly ran over Gus's toes before he drove right threw the ropes and through the middle of the ground under repair at the 17th hole. The water shot outward and upward as high as the cart roof for about 15 yards. The cart came to rest with both golf bags, Spraguer, and seats completely soak and wet. The water was dripping from the roof sides for about 15 seconds, which was the funniest part.

Spraguer continued the poor judgement by spinning the tires and shooting black mud all over the golf bags, golf towels attached to the golf bags, and golf cart.

The tires were now deep in the mud and water was pouring over the floor board. Spraguer was not going forward and nobody was ready to walk into the pond to help. So with some additional poor judgement, Spraguer put the cart in reverse shooting mud out the front of the cart.

Then forward. Then backward. Then forward. Then backward until he got the cart moving slowly and mud shooting out the front. He actually got the cart out by himself, which was even more surprising than him driving it in there.

He brought the cart up the hill behind the green. It was covered in black colored mud. There were two large tire marks going into the ground under repair all week. Golfapalooza will never be the same."