September 13, 2007

PARKERSBURG, WV — As the summer continues to roll forward, the Carl Spackler Open cannot take a break. "Player attendance is vital to a successful tournament and the dreaded 'Red Zone' continues," says senior member Scott Miller. "I would like to personally notify all players that having unprotected sex represents really poor decision-making." The Red Zone Alert is scheduled to end on Wednesday, October 10, 2007.

The Captains Club has seen incidents in the past that led to close calls regarding its members inability to appropriately think ahead. To help with communication of the Red Zone Alert, the Captains Club added an eye-catching reminder to it's website.

Miller stated that the most important factor he must convey to the field is observance of the 'Red Zone'. Unlike football, the Red Zone is something that players do not want to score in. "The worst thing a player can do is enter the Red Zone with no plan," said Miller. "I have come up with several alternative activities our members can turn to in their time of need."

Scott provided a list of very entertaining football games during the months of September as a start. He also offered his steel boxer shorts with a lock and key for a small rental fee.

Miller went on to define the Red Zone as, "The time of year 8 to 10 months prior to the upcoming Open Championship. Player involvement with their significant other can severely damage their ability to obtain Kitchen Passes in the future."

Matt Davis, Vice President of the P.W.R.P., stated, "It is about time I got some help on this front. I have seen it happen and it is quite sad to see members who obviously want to be in attendance having to walk away and do the right thing." Mr. Davis went on to comment, "These guys have a hard time remembering their wedding anniversary. Our reminder is a great proactive decision and look forward each year to eliminated the excuses for skipping our tournament."

Scott Miller summarized his comments with, "The tournament is set for June and the Red Zone has been defined. Unfortunately, I cannot help those loose cannons that may have already damaged their ability to attend this year."

With the Red Zone Alert coming to an end in 30 days, the fall will represent the time of year when members can work on seeding their lawns, laying down some fertilizer, and preparing flowerbeds for winter.

"Attendance is all about capitalizing on the opportunities," said Miller of his fall ritual. "In my younger Spackler years, I started setting things in motion as early as possible. I can tell you flowers grow best when they are pampered." Miller paused with relief all over his face. He continued, "Now things are different. Slick was right yet again. After you attend 3 straight years, the wife assumes attendance. It is the hurdle of all hurdles. The assumption that I will be out of town does exist. We don't even talk about it anymore. I just mail my check in November. Senior membership has it's benefits."

Scott closed his Red Zone Alert press conference saying, "I just want our guys to use their heads. [pause] Maybe that is a bad choice of words, but it is essential."