News Release
Harold Wins Open
Ms. Lacey Underall
Passing the Test
Any Questions?
'Rock' Solid Putting
Finishing Strong Again
Consumption Records
Turtle Boy
Championship Preview
C+
Position: Key to Jacket
Eightsomes Return
What's Next?
Tournament Notebook
Spackler Rankings Released
Handicapping
Skills Challenge Contest
'Talking about Practice'
Are you Sash Worthy?
Luxurious Obese Fairways
Myers Signs Early

October 29, 2007

ROCKY MOUNT, NC — The Spackler Business Office today received a surprise letter of intent from 2002 Al Cervic Outfit Winner and Captains Club CEO, Jamie Myers, who has been instrumental in the success of this ongoing major championship.

The 5-foot-8, 235-pound Myers, has never lead a tournament even for one hole, but has put pen to paper with his plans to attend the 2008 Carl Spackler Open Championship.

"Today marks the beginning of my personal quest to win this 2008 Carl Spackler Open Championship. Waiting for unimportant details is never going to happen again. This tournament is too exciting to wait on the unimportant. I am in. How about you?"

Myers plans to capitalize this year on the inexpensive beer, traditional golf course, and large queen-size beds. A native of Warren, PA, Myers will try to ignore the past, which includes the Czverik Outfit back in Williamsburg, VA.

The Chairman of the Captains Club expressed his acceptance to the tournament by saying, "I am very happy that my slap in the face last April worked. The Myers signing shows the enthusiastic behavior needed well before official registration information is available."

Myers has guaranteed himself a spot in the tournament field with a 'first-ever' tournament cap to be announced in the next few weeks.

Rick Dosky came out of hiding upon hearing news of a "Myers return". "He is clearly one of the most respected players in the country. I nearly passed out at my mailbox this week," said Dosky. "Myers has never signed in November let alone October."

The Myers financial commitment to the Open Championship sets an all-time record for the earliest signing in history. The postmarked date of the non-refundable non-transferrable deposit was October 23.

"I almost missed Michigan with stupidity," said Myers from his desk at OptiCare Managed Vision, Inc.. "For those that chose not to go... all I can say is shame on you. From what I understand, Indiana is shaping up to be even better. I find it difficult to believe, but am certain that I won't be sitting at this desk wondering."

The 2008 Carl Spackler Open Championship will announce the tournament fee on Thursday morning. Jeremy Myers becomes the first participant to register with the Spackler Business Office. Official tournament registration begins November 15 and lasts for less than 45 days.