November 5, 2007

LYNBROOK, NY — Not satisfied with having zero offspring that he is aware of, Rob Reustle has planted the seed for a delivery on June 5. "That's right, he has no brain," said senior member Nick Casale. "This is a major disappointment, but with congratulations written all over it."

The Reustle announcement to skip the Carl Spackler Open comes in early-November. He becomes the second victim of "Red Zone Violation" season, which started in August and ended in mid-October.

"Yes, I violated the RED-ZONE, the price I had to pay for marrying a teacher. The Red Zone coincides with having a kid prior to summer break. Believe me it was a day of mixed emotions, the first thought that crossed my mind when the June 4th due date was announced was 'Oh crap there goes Spackler 08'. However, having attended the 2006 and 2007 tournaments, I have locked that annual trip in prior to the kids arrival, so I am confident I will be back in 2009."

The statement immediately alerted the Captains Club. "We certaintly have mixed emotions," said Greg Long, Chairman of the Captains Club. "I am glad he has made the right choice. On the other hand... with 365 days to choose from, I cannot believe he was having unprotected sex exactly nine months prior to the tournament."

Long added, "This could be a major mistake. The 2009 Carl Spackler Open Championship will conflict with his baby's 1st birthday if born on June 5. He may never return."

Matt Davis had his own comments. "I cannot imagine taking that kind of risk," said Pokey. "It is like playing Russian Roulette with a pistol only missing one bullet. I was under the impression that everyone was protecting themselves during the Red Zone. Obviously, I stand corrected."

Reustle is the second big name expected to skip the Open Championship. Both Dann Hagg and Reustle are expected to stay home.

Trent Cooper said, "Rob was a couple of months from the 'three-peat'. He has given up a tremendous opportunity to gain a guaranteed life-time attendance at the Carl Spackler Open." Cooper is referring to the reality behind three-straight tournaments and the automatic acceptance by the wife or girlfriend. Based on statistical fact, women automatically assume future attendance after three-straight tournaments.

The Red Zone Violation, established in 2003, was created to eliminate excuses. "Nobody can say they were unaware," says Matt Davis. "We need to get those Red Zone pillow cases."

Jeremy Myers comment regarding the Reustle pregnancy, "Moron."

The Carl Spackler Open continues to move into its 8th season. Kyle Marti holds the lead in the 2007 Virtual Tournament. Tournament registration for the 2008 Carl Spackler Open Championship begins on November 15.