January 18, 2008

PERU, IN — The non-fictional super duo of Mike Trojanowski and Jay Dilks have both signed to play golf at the 8th Major Championship says a report out this week on the Carl Spackler Open. The comedic, but not comic duo will give it a go at Rock Hollow Golf Club just west of downtown Peru, IN.

With a premise that taps into adolescent fantasy, the duo were granted a photo opportunity. An opportunity that might just have two-thirds of the tournament field 'throwing up' on their desks.

"I have never been so focused to compete at a high level for a Major Championship," said Dilks in a written statement. "I have started my off-season training with Yoga, high intensity pilates, increased meat consumption and badmitten drills."

Jay skipped the Michigan tournament after violating the Red Zone Alert. He returns for his first tournament as a father, which could change everything. Dilks did manage to play The Madison Club in November 2007 where he shot bogey golf and scored 53 points.

Dilks added, "I am attempting to increase my alcohol tolererance moments before exercise. I will be prepared and competitive in Peru Indiana."

The complete opposite could be said for Trojanowski who continues to pack on the pastries, but that does not seem bother Jay Dilks. "I heard some strong rumor from Michigan," says Dilks. "They included Trojanowski's absence at the player meeting and his wallet being found 1/2 mile north on Main Street. That sounds horrifying to almost anyone, but simply heartbreaking to me. I missed out on a legendary Trojanowski experience."

Everyone else missed out on Dilks' patented high-pitched laugh for the ages.

Jeremy Myers was very excited to see Mike plans to return. "It is a great opportunity for the Indiana fans to see a person," said Myers of Trojanowski. "Correction, it a great opportunity for the United States... correction again, it is a great opportunity for the world to see Mike play in the greatest amateur sporting event in golf.

Mike is a crowd pleaser. Everyone enjoys his exclamation after booming drives. They can see how the mind of 'Troj' works to crawl into the thinking of his opponents and attempt to destroy their confidence."

Trojanowski is presently the 31st best player in Spackler history. Dilks is 22. Trojanowski signs to represent the state of New York while Dilks will represent Pennsylvania.