January 7, 2008

PERU, IN — Heavy beer drinkers Bill Bateson and Kevin Long, Jr. have signed to play golf at the 2008 Carl Spackler Open says a report out of business office this week. The much anticipated return of Chuck Long, Sr. and his verbal commitment came unfunded in early January.

Bateson returns for his 4th straight tournament and 5th overall. Kevin, a.k.a. Hevy Jo, returns for his 6th straight and 7th tournament.

"I have decided to return for my fifth Spackler," said Bateson in a written statement. "I finished fifth during my rookie year followed by 57th, 13th, then 30th. It seems playing well comes every other tournament. Simply put - I expect to win the whole damn thing! I've been doing some serious conditioning - haven't touched a club or been to a gym, but from alcohol consumption, I think I am in the best shape of my career."

Hevy Joesph asked, "Are you serious? What is your beer fat index?" Bateson chuckled and replied, "I don't know. A lot. What is the average index for an alcoholic?"

Bateson signs as the 16th player to the very large golf tournament. He is the 6th player to represent Ohio. Kevin Long, Jr. signs as the 17th player and 2nd player to represent the state of Virginia.

Billy Bateson's most legendary moment came in Louisville several years ago. After getting hammered at the Kentucky Derby, he went into a local mall and got lost. After several hours, he was found in the back of a police car.

Kevin Long's most legendary moment came in Barnesville back in June 2005. He accidently sharted on the back nine and had to borrow some Gold Bond from "Pork" and purchased a new pair of shorts in the Pro Shop.

Hevy Jo is the 17th best player in Spackler history with 688.25 points. His best finish was 4th at Tanglewood Park back in June 2004. Bill is the 23rd best player with 662.81 points. His best finish was 5th at Thunder Hill back in June 2003.

The 2008 Carl Spackler Open Championship heads for its 8th installment this June with 55 participants. Tournament preferences and options begin on March 8.