January 25, 2008

WASHINGTON, DC — The Captains Club announced today the 8th annual tournament will be free. With assistance from Nancy and George, congressional leaders announced a deal Thursday on an economic stimulus package that would give employeed participants $600 to $1,200 to stimulate the city of Peru, IN.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said Congress would act on the agreement — hammered out in a week of intense negotiations with Republican Leader John A. Boehner and Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson — "at the earliest date, so that those rebate checks will be in the mail."

"This is absolutely fantastic," says Jeremy Myers. "A government paid golf trip sounds almost unbelievable. Can someone pinch me?"

Nancy Pelosi was not entirely pleased with the free golf trip, but realizes the City of Peru needs stimulation.

President George Bush was not entirely pleased either, but sees the importance of stimulation. "This package is sending checks to almost everyone involved with the Carl Spackler Open. Please help America by drinking beer, playing golf, and buying goods and services along the way."

Brian Flanagan was asked what he thought about a government provided golf trip. He replied, "This is incredible news. I am covered through 2010. Maybe 2011. The tournament purse from Michigan covers Indiana." The reporter said, "Wow! Your right." Flanagan said, "Bush is sending my house the base plus $300 for each of our four kids. Nancy and Bush have me covered through 2010 even after the wife gets her half."

The 2008 Carl Spackler Open Championship begins on June 4. President Bush is not expected to participate. There are 57 participants scheduled for the 54-hole tournament.