News Release
Harold Wins Open
Ms. Lacey Underall
Passing the Test
Any Questions?
'Rock' Solid Putting
Finishing Strong Again
Consumption Records
Turtle Boy
Championship Preview
C+
Position: Key to Jacket
Eightsomes Return
What's Next?
Tournament Notebook
Spackler Rankings Released
Handicapping
Skills Challenge Contest
'Talking about Practice'
Are you Sash Worthy?
Luxurious Obese Fairways
Heeee's Back!

March 26, 2008

SELLERSBURG, IN — The Spackler business office today received a letter of intent from 2002 Carl Spackler Outfit Winner and 2006 Horses Ass, Tom McCauley, who has been instrumental in the success of this ongoing major championship. The letter was his late-minute commitment to his 7th event in 8 years. Incredibly, he boosts the tournament field outlook to a record-high 72 participants.

The 6-foot-3, 166-pound McCauley will arrive to Peru with the home field advantage and an increased desire to win his first Golden Jacket. "Today marks the beginning of my personal quest to win this major championship," said McCauley. "Cherishing my 3-hour commute will be top priority this year. Winning the tournament is my second. My annual commitment to the Jeremy Myers Beer Tasting Clinic after the practice round on Wednesday will be third."

McCauley signs as the 55th player to the tournament field. The large field is expected to arrive for the practice round on June 4. McCauley will be hosting "grass clinic" on Wednesday before the practice round. The hour will be used to teach the field about golf course grasses, their purposes, and how some are smoked.

The Chairman of the Captains Club, Greg Long, expressed his thoughts on the McCauley signing by saying, "I am very happy that McCauley will be joining the field this year. It is where he belongs."

McCauley won the 2006 Horses Ass Award after during a drunk pole dance on the party bus with a depends undergarment over-top his shorts.

He posed for a quick photo with Carl Spackler after his loss in the Williamsburg tournament.

Even Matt Davis came out of hiding upon hearing news of a McCauley return. "He is clearly the foundation to our major championship," said Pokey. "I mean for smokers. He possesses quality skills in the area complemented by his ability to swing the club with a cigarette. His extraordinary shot making skills and a tenacious work ethic is expected to allow him shine next month."

The 2008 Carl Spackler Open Championship will host its annual player meeting on Thursday morning at 8:30AM. The meeting will be held at the clubhouse at Rock Hollow Golf Club.