May 1, 2008

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA — Chris Hays is in trouble. Big trouble. The Captains Club announced back in February that Chris Hays would play golf in his 3rd tournament in 4 years. After skipping the Michigan tournament, he would quietly sign into the deepest 'bowl' Spackler has ever seen.

The train is coming with Hays back turned listening to his Ipod. Chris signs for the 8th installment of the Carl Spackler Open as the worst golfer in Spackler history with two completed tournaments.

"He is the worst tournament golfer on record," says Kevin Long, Jr.. Chris Hays, a.k.a. Tanner, was once a golden child looking for a Golden Jacket. His Spackler career has developed into a panic situation.

Hays opened as a rookie at Mountain Valley where he finished in a tie for 57th position. The tournament hosted 68 golfers.

Many members including Long think Chris Hays should have been drapped in Carl Spackler Outfit apparel back in 2006. The 8-point final round in Clayton, NC showed his inability to perform down the stretch. Hays placed 62nd in a field of 63. Only Jay Glover's banana slice and inability to par a hole saved him.

"It does not take brain surgery to realize Tanner is terrible," said a drunk Kevin Long, Jr. "He has statistics like the Raiders. His career best round (6 rounds) is 33 points. His 3rd best round is 15 points. His average per round is a dreadful 18.8 points."

Hays joined Mike Davis and Jay Glover in 2006 as the only two golfers to shoot single-digit points since 2002. Mike Watkeys and Jeremy Myers scored just 9 points during a round in Williamsburg.

"I am pretty sure that I have hit rock bottom," said Hays. "Things must improve because the only thing left are a pair of outfits."

Chris Hays enters the 2008 tournament as the 38th best golfer in Spackler history with a 143.82 ranking. The 37th best golfer in Spackler history is Chris Milam with a 282.62 ranking. The 36th best golfer in Spackler history is Matt Boland with a 300.92 ranking. The low number of tournaments completed could be their saving grace with a strong finish in Indiana.

WORST 8 GOLFERS IN SPACKER HISTORY

(30) 482.39 Jay Glover

(31) 463.21 Bob Morris

(32) 441.71 Matt Pritchard

(33) 437.63 Grady Walters

(34) 432.54 Don Creighton, Jr.

(35) 426.54 Tom Fowble

(36) 300.92 Matt Boland **(2 seasons)**

(37) 282.62 Chris Milam **(2 seasons)**

(38) 143.32 Chris Hays **(2 seasons)**

Chris Hays signs as the 67th golfer with 72 golfers loaded and ready to do battle in Indiana.

The 2008 Carl Spackler Open begins on June 5 at Rock Hollow Golf Club just west of downtown Peru, IN. There are 72 golfers scheduled to participate.