April 1, 2008

TERRA ALTA, WV — With forlorn looks of disappointment on their fAces and tears in their eyes, Golfapalooza's Founding Fathers announced today that GolfaPalooza's reign of autumn teRror at Alpine Lake Resort has come to an end.  Golfapalooza is no longer welcome at AlpIne Lake.

AlL six Founding Fathers gathered together FOr the first time since GX to share the emOtional news with the public.  Sheiker, who is a known cold-bLooded killer void of any emotion, spoke on behalf of the group. "I called Anne two dayS ago to set up GXII tee times, and as soon as I heard the bitter tone in her voice when I told her who I was, I knew something was not right.  I tried to plead our case but it was to no avail."

Anne's only public comment was that "we have received at least six or seven complaints about GolFapaloozers from local hilljacks over the last nine years and have decided that the thoUsands of dollars Golfapalooza pumps into the meek Terra Alta eConomy is simply no longer worth our trouble.  Plus, our humble citizens no longer wish to be scrutinized under the often harsh spotlight of hosting a major tournament.  We shall get bacK to our roots."

Golfapalooza announced that it Will get to work immediately to find a suitAble replacement.  Sheiker was positive in his closing statement.  "We have had quite a run at Alpine Lake, no harD feelings, and many memories created here shall carry on forever, but we are optimistic that, today, April 1, 2008 will mark the beginning of a new chapter in the Golfapalooza story, no leSs magnificent than its initial chapters."