April 7, 2008

TERRA ALTA, WV — In an update today from Golfapalooza Headquarters, Sheik made an announcement concerning the first rule change for GXII. "After completing mountains of statistical analysis comparing scores over the last few events, we have determined that a rule change is in order concerning the long putts. Actually no analysis was done, but the change seems too funny not to make." Sheik then called Randy Watson to the podium to continue the announcement. Watson first gave a shout out to his band Sexual Chocolate then went on to tell the story. "Sheik and I were scramble partners on Saturday. After he made a 12 footer for birdie that effectively won his bet with Patch, we were standing off to the side letting Sleepy and Melick putt out. Melick asked me to bring the flag over so they could measure for putt points. I said they didn't need a measurement, there was no way it was long enough and that Boland could lay down between their ball and the cup and there would be still be plenty of room! Sheik then said to me, 'hey, what if we change the putt length from the whole flagstick to the length to the bottom of the flag and instead of putts being longer than a flagstick counting for putt points we could call it anything "shorter than Boland" does not count.'"

"It was all I could do not to laugh while those guys putted out and I was still laughing on three when we teed off and we made bogey. I told Sheik it was a great idea and we should vote on it that night. After we brought it up in the room the vote was unanimous for making the change. We considered announcing the change during the awards ceremony but decided to wait. We don't anticipate any other major rule changes for this year, but if some develop you'll be the first to hear about them."

Boland was unavailable for comment but had he been, he probably would have said something about still being taller than JT and Quackenbush and that the putt points should be named after them instead. Less than six months remain until the start of GXII.