May 21, 2008

PERU, IN — Are you sash worthy? Can you win the inaugural Ms. Lacey Underall Sash? The Captains Club will determine this June who wears the most feminine clothing. They will determine who would look best with the sash.

The Ms. Lacey Underall sash was inspired by Trent Cooper and his "salmon" golf shirts. "We need an award for his gayness," said senior member Jean Dore outside the Super 8 Motel in Brooklyn, MI. "He deserves a crown and sash."

Jean Dore has followed up with the Ms. Lacey Underall sash. "Trent might be wearing this almost every year," says Dore. "The only other thing in the running right now are the 'Paula Creamer pink' shoes that Jason Watson wears on Friday.

"Why isn't the Ms. Lacey Underall Sash a 'Trent Cooper Sash'?" asked Jon Sabat of Warren, PA. Dore replied, "Because Cooper is not that worthy."

The award will be worn on Saturday night similar to the Carl Spackler Outfit. It will be returned on Sunday morning to Mike Trojanowski with all outfits for the following year.

"Cooper is going to win this one by a landslide," says Jeremy Myers. "The Paula Creamer shoes are over the line, but Cooper is ridiculous. I am glad he has a wife and two kids."

The 2008 Carl Spackler Open Championship begins in two weeks. The team bowling tournament will begin at 8:30PM inside Homer's Sports Bar. There are 68 guys scheduled to participate in the inaugural bowling tournament.