News Release
Golfapalooza Firsts
Bagging Loozers Holier than Thou
Loozers Sluggishly Enter Summer Season
Golfapalooza Turns 30?
Loozers to Play at JT Scramble
Where Have You Gone, Joe DiMaggio? (Part 1 of 3)
Journey for Answers
Roller Coaster Ride
Golfapalooza Turns 30?

July 30, 2008

TERRA ALTA, WV — No, that's not to suggest that Golfapalooza has reached 30 years old.  Although it seems to be a foregone conclusion that it will last at least that long.  What this is referring to is the fact that, with 55 days still remaining until the practice round, GXII registrations have already reached 21 members; and looking at the Rumor Mill, it seems possible that the number of participants this year could be a record-setting 30 or more Loozers.

Several Loozers who have been AWOL for recent tournaments have sent binding letters of intent to play at GXII, including Founding Father Gus "Chief Not-So-Clean" Sokos and Uncle Mark Young.  Other notable Loozers have verbally expressed interest.  Founding Father Grundo Magruder will likely make an appearance for at least part of the weekend.  Additionally, Billy Bob Sitonmyfaceski, listed as questionable, would once again be an immediate contender for Best Line Awards, a Dosky and the Green Jacket as soon as he sets foot in Terra Alta.  Perennial on-course hardware winner Greg Long, participant in eight consecutive Golfapalooza's and 15 majors overall, is also listed as questionable, yet tournament directors are still hopeful that Slick will compete once again this year.

Jon Bear Ponch Kerchak Gordon is excited about the possibility of a record-setting number of participants. "That's just more people for me to piss-off and take money from at the poker table" explained Ponch, who still hasn't finished counting all the money he made at the tables last year. "Although I kind of hope that Weekend at Bernie's guy doesn't come back again.  He threw up on me and then I had to drive him around for hours in the golf cart because I couldn't find the cabin."

The previous record for attendance is 27 set in 2005 at GIX.  Sign up is easy and a decision you won't regret.  Register for GXII, complete your on-line participant options, and send some money to Sheiker.  See you in September.