September 8, 2008

TERRA ALTA, WV — Greg Long, the 9-year member of Golfapalooza, returned to his New York Times best selling book, “Memories: How I lived Golfapalooza”, to release an update. Long, a.k.a. Slick, was asked to retrace through Chapter 5, which is titled, “The Front Nine” as it provides his insights of how to play the Ron Forse par 72 golf course.

Slick moved straight to Hole 7, ”I need to revisit the 7th hole for an update. This is your second birdie hole and third par 5. As stated in my initial book release, Loozers need to score big or lose ground. You have to hit driver; you have to be relaxed; and should be straight, but in the left woods is also good.

Butter Flanagan resembles power and he also plays a pretty strong fade. You want a ‘Butter fade’ off the tee and play the rest stress free. A pummeled drive into the left woods is surprisingly playable.

Memories Memories Memories.

I need to go back no more than two years to find lasting memories of Hole 7,“ said Slick of the short par 5. “Todd Flanagan opened the first round of the 4-man Best Ball in 2006 saying, ‘I am not drinking that stuff,’ referring to the strong 20-ounce tequila sunrises. The group was to drink a 12-pack in 12 holes.

Patio, Sleepy, and Slick consumed 6 drinks in first 6 holes. Todd drank 6 ounces before Hole 4, played terrible, and carried on worse than a sorority chick for about 6 holes. 'I am not drinking those.'

When Mark Kaniecki pressed him about the team unity on the 6th green and already a full drink behind, he shouted, 'I am not drinking another until Slick does some weed.' Slick and Todd went back in forth for 5 minutes on the next tee box before they agreed on a solution.

Slick needed to birdie Hole 7 for the team or do some weed. If he birdied, Todd would consume his portion of the ‘jungle juice’ without the sorority talk.

Two shots later my ball was on the fringe about 12 feet for eagle. It was a delivered birdie and Todd was drunk by Hole 10. I remember Mark laughing his head off.

The second strongest memory was last September during a very comfortable Saturday 2-man Scramble round with Brett Lyme and Eric Kaniecki as my playing partners. Eric Kaniecki was high on 'jungle juice'. He got a little excited with Brett Lyme in the middle of the fairway and let it rip off the tee. He rolled his wrists over and sent his ball up the hill and into the woods on the left.

Teammate Stacey Bartlett and I were struggling all morning. We collectively managed to hit our team ball pin-high with eagle just 6-feet away. The heat was on.

We were getting ready to make up some ground when Eric and Brett decided to play Eric's ball from in the woods. It was a clear shot, but it was in the woods. It appeared to be a John Daly 17-stroke debacle waiting to happen. I kept hearing 'Romeo' saying, 'Roy... play the ball in the fairway.' Eric hit a 4-iron from out of the woods, up the hill, where it rested on the right fringe for eagle.

It was the best shot ever seen inside the front nine at Alpine Lake Resort & Conference Center. Who hits 4-iron into the 7th green for double-eagle?

We marked our team ball to Eric's disgust and waited for Brett and Eric to play their chip or putt. They decided on a chip, which would certaintly break 5 or 6 feet with the green very back-to-front slanted.

Brett is basically a +28 stroke handicap, which indicates a moderate to strong hacker. He was a bogey golfer on Saturday, which was surprising because he was 'jungle juice free'. He chipped his ball as expected to 5 feet, which opened the door for Eric to become aggressive. Eric suggested he would chip the ball into the hole. He never smiled or smirked after the comment. He never took his eyes off the line as he waggled his wedge. He chipped the ball as it touched down 2 inches past the fringe. There was never a doubt with speed or roll. It broke a good 5 feet and into the hole dead center for eagle. It was so good the pin being in or out did not matter.

The two them jumped, chest bumped, and screamed pretty loud. It was pretty exciting. It was the greatest experience seen on the front nine. A 2-man scramble team used zero luck to card eagle from the woods. Everyone should remember that when they are in the woods.

I reviewed the experience with Gstan this summer in Wheeling. I have done what should be done. I went hunting for a large flat 30lb stone. It has been engraved with "Gstan eagled from here." A hole will be dug in September 2008 and the stone will be inserted into the woods between the rocks, leaves, and tree roots. Loozers and vacationers will be able to kick off the leaves and dirt while visiting the legendary location.

Buy a large bucket of range balls and dump them behind the stone. You will never birdie from there.