August 21, 2008

TERRA ALTA, WV — Founding Father Sheiker announced today that the Notebook function for Golfapalooza XII has been activated.  On the events side of the website, Loozers are able to click on the "Notes" tab and then select "Notebook."  There they will find useful information about the trip, unlike the information in the news articles, which is pretty much useless and alot of the time not even that funny.

Currently, Loozers will find tips on what to bring, what in the hell they will be gambling on, and how putt points work, among other things.  Sheiker also noted that "we will be adding to it on a weekly basis as we get closer to the tournament, and anyone can make suggestions as to what information should be added by contacting your favorite Founding Father.  We might tell you to go screw yourself, but that shouldn't stop you from making suggestions."

Finally, Sheiker also mentioned that some rejected suggestions already include information on how to two-putt number 13, how much Advil is too much Advil, how to beat JT at Cornhole, and how to tell if your porn is worthy of Golfapalooza.  He added that "in case your wondering, the answers to those four inquiries are 1) pick it up, 2) 30 in one day, 3) you can't and 4) if no men are touching, bring it."