August 27, 2008

TERRA ALTA, WV — As sneaky as ever, Kid Rock waits till the last minute to sign.  With the anticipated Wednesday noon arrival Kid Rock once again raises the level of play at Golfapalooza.  The consummate ladies man, the always cool guy to hang with, the slicer of all time his antics are legendary in the hills of Alpine Lake.  10 years ago when Golfapalooza first arrived at Terra Alta, Todd Flanagan was there.  He has been there every year since.  He was there when Guido jumped into the lake,  he was there for the lollipops, he was there for the one and only firepit and he was there to see the rise and fall of beer pong.  He has been part of at least 8 different wedding photos, he has hit more than his fare share of balls into the lake on twelve (even though he was aiming up 17 fairway).  You need a 4th for cornhole, you need am extra guy for poker, you need a guy to fill in for the chef, you need a guy to make sure the sheets don’t fall off that bed in the back room until 1 minute before the tee time, you need a pizza cooked at 2:00am you need a beer finished, you need someone to wait on or you need someone to just throw a pine cone you can always count on Todd.

Rumors began swirling this year about how long these expectations will remain in effect.  When Pat Boland heard the news that Todd is engaged to be married before next years event the first comment was “It’s all down hill from here, if only marriage would make Todd a little less cool then maybe more people would like me.”  

So the bet if on, will a female take down another one of Golfapalooza’s great’s?  The over under after ten years of uninterrupted attendance is 2.  The Founding Fathers has put 2 over the head of Todd.  Once the marriage occurs next June it won’t be 2 years before a perfect attendance record is broken.  

It has already happened to the best of them, Joe Grubler, Grundo, JT, Gus, Max Dieterle, Bulzie Bonobo.  Sure they all say it won’t happen to me, but it does.  Priorities change, manlyhood becomes less manly,  ability to go as you please is gone, other commitments are made for you, things come up that would never come up for a single guy.  The excuse is always the same….. “Well, it’s my wife’s fill in the blank” or “my wife has, fill in the blank”  or “it’s my kids fill in the blank” (once again caused by the wife).  So no matter who you are it’s only a matter of time.

So how long until the once great Kid Rock is taken down by the WOMAN?