September 3, 2008

TERRA ALTA, WV — Thanks to the efforts of Golfapalooza legend Stacey Bartlett, Dennis Dougherty has signed on as GXII’s first, and probably only rookie for this year’s event.  His most recent scorecards have become part of the public domain on the ‘Virtual Tournament’ side of the website.  At a glance, they look quite good, and the buzz is already beginning to circulate among the field about his talent.

“He could win the whole thing, he’ll dominate Slick and Quack.” said an enthused Butter.  â€œYou won’t find too many scorecards in the PostStats database where a guy shot 88 on a nearly 7,000 yard course.”

GStan was unimpressed.  â€œHello!  Is this my first Golfapalooza? We’ve heard this chatter about rookies being able to win the whole thing too often for me to buy into it. They said Cross could win it all.  They said the Hurricane would win it all. They said Whitey would win it all.  They said it for Bulzie too.  If you add up the total MELC and Raw championship trophies for all those guys, you can count them on zero of your fingers. He’s got to deliver the goods to make me a believer.”

GStan also noted how history was working against him as well. “No rookie has ever won the MELC, and while rookies took home three of the first six Individual Medalist titles, no rookie has won that since Frankenberry captured the crown at GVI.”

Gus’s feelings about the rookie wandered away from the golf course.  â€œI worry about this guy a little bit.  He has a lot of pressure on him.  The Rookie of the Year Award does not have to be given out if the Board Members determine that no rookies adequately embraced the spirit of the weekend.  Given that he is the only rookie, how embarrassed is he going to be if he fails to secure the award when he does not even have competition?” Fortunately for Dougherty, former ROY winners Monte and Winthorp have vowed to mentor him through his first 24 to 36 hours to make sure that doesn’t happen.

Finally, as if this rookie doesn’t have enough working against him already, he is coming from Michigan.  Hopefully he’s just a transplant to the state, because, while Golfapalooza has never had a fight in 11 years, he will almost certainly be made to eat any Maize-N-Blue apparel that he might stupidly choose to wear; either by the Columbus boys or by the Kaniecki/Thomas Fighting Irish fans. Truthfully, however, perennial national championship contenders, the Utah Utes, may have nipped this problem in the bud already.