September 12, 2008

TERRA ALTA, WV — As evidenced in an earlier article, the Wilsons are in preparation mode for GXII.  They just hope that the Loozers are as well.  "This is what we look forward to all year", said Mr. Wilson. "These guys are so prepared every year.  It makes the struggling real estate market of Alpine Lake worth it for us."  The Wilsons have compiled a list of things that they want to make sure arrive at the Wilson cabin in two weeks.  So when you are making your final preparations, make sure these items are on your checklist:

BARTLETT:  Knob Creek (Big Bottle), Omellette ingredients;

QUACK:  BGSU boards, Madden '09, XBox, Dieterle;

BOLAND:  Nitro tablets, Carton of Kool 100 lights menthol in a box, Step stool;

CARDER:  Power of attorney and a living will, common sense;

WINTHORP:  Firefighter apparel for the founding fathers, Monte, lots of Tina's money for poker;

DOSKY:  enough said;

DOUGHERTY:  thick skin, your A-game;

BUTTER:  Your Mom;

Kid Rock:  Weed, Mary Jane, Gange, Hemp, doobies, roaches and bongs

GG:  fleece blanket so you're not cold at night, stamina to stay in contention for three full rounds;

KERCHAK:  the rest of our money from last year so we can win it back;

BRENT:  Program, Tact, whore shorts;

SHEIKER: Thursday gambling money, Friday gambling money, Saturday gambling money to add new dollars to the card games

G'STAN:  Beer Pong!!!!!!!  The intestinal fortitude to stand up to JT in cornhole;

SLEEPY: Stogies for Friday, puke bucket;

REAL STAN: Just show up for three days for God's Sake;

BRO: Music, top lip snuff, and a new catch phrase for GXII;

AL:  Pink panties that say "Big Al the Truckers Pal";

MONTE: Yourself and Marshmallows;

WALT:  Plenty of balls, voice box;

GUS:  Ass Cleaner, change of drawers, AED for Boland;

JT:  Leader Boards, 2003 Golf Game, Tara (for Saturday);

CHEF:  Grill, Spatula, Tongs;

RANDY WATSON......ah:  Paula Kreamer shoes and matching belt;

WHITEY:  one of the six rookies you promised;

UNCLE MARK:  Lot's of CocaCola, Par on 17