October 23, 2008

STERLING, VA — The Captains Club secured another verbal commitment for the 2009 recruiting class Wednesday, when highly-rated 5-time member Glenn Hoffert announced his probable return to the 2009 Carl Spackler Open Championship in June.

"I am 75 to 80 percent unless I had a slip up with my penis," said Hoffert in a written statement. "Location does not dictate my attendance, but the fact that it is back in Virginia is also a bonus for me."

The Red Zone Alert concluded yesterday with zero pregnancy announcements. Hoffert might have escaped with a early-June kitchen pass.

Hoffert, a.k.a. Jim, joined the tournament back in June 2003 at Thunder Hill Golf Club. He tied for 17th position with 74 points. Jim hit rock bottom two years later in Barnesville when he wore the Al Czverik Outfit. He managed to escape the Carl Spackler Outfit on Saturday by 2 points, but grabbed the Crapper Award as the worst player in history.

Hoffert's verbal commitment matches the verbal commitments from 2-time members Patrick McElroy and Scott Zavinski.

Glenn resides just 3 hours north of Poplar Grove. He eyes his 6th event in 7 years.

"It would be great to have Jim back," said Robby Fustich. "He placed 8th in Michigan and should be in position to take home the jacket."

The 2009 Carl Spackler Open Championship will be played at Poplar Grove Golf Club in Amherst, VA. There are 68 to 90 golfers expected for Round 1 on June 11. Official registration begins on November 15, however participants can send non-refundable non-transferable deposits ($120) to Rick Dosky today.