November 24, 2008

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA — Not satisfied with simple attendance, rookie John Mello has planted the seed for a delivery in mid-June. "That's right, June 2009," said Captains Club member Kevin Long, Jr. "This is a major disappointment, but with congratulations written all over it."

The Mello announcement to skip the Carl Spackler Open came last week. He becomes the first victim of "Red Zone Violation" season, which started in August and ended in mid-October.

"I knocked my wife up with her due date 3 days after Spackler starts," said Mello in a written statement. "I have been given temporary permission to attend, but realize the priority. I am sure you can understand the delicate nature of these negotiations."

The statement immediately alerted the Captains Club. "We certainly have mixed emotions," said Greg Long, Chairman of the Captains Club. "I would not say that I understand his lack of timing, but do understand the priority. We need to buy red zone pillow cases."

Matt Davis had his own comments. "I cannot imagine taking that kind of risk," said Pokey. "It is like playing Russian Roulette with a pistol only missing one bullet. I was under the impression that everyone was protecting themselves during the Red Zone. Obviously, I stand corrected."

The next Mello question is the birthday. A birth on June 11 or June 12 will certainly cause a conflict in 2010 and 2011 with important birthday parties.

Mello is not the first participant to skip the Open Championship. Jay Dilks, Robby Fustich, Rob Reustle, and Kevin Long, Jr. have all violated since 2001. Rick Dosky and Matt Boland have also violated, but attended anyway.