January 12, 2009

AMHERST, VA — Jason Watson, Vice President of Awards and Contests, was asked to sit in and hold a press conference regarding the 9th Major Championship. The 54-hole tournament will be held in Amherst, VA at Poplar Grove Golf Club. Watson started the press conference by reading from a prepared statement.

"Thanks everyone for attending. Before I begin, I would like to say that things do not get any better than holding a press conference for a national championship. The Captains Club asked me to summarize this year's event and glad to do it."

Watson looked down at a lengthy statement and began reading outloud.

"Michigan and Indiana were the most successful golf trips from a Captains Club coordination perspective. Nothing even came close. This year's event will be played in its first economic recession.

The golf course this year, Poplar Grove, is expected to the best course in our history hands down. We collectively agree three of the four worst holes at Poplar Grove are the par 3's. The beauty of the 12th hole at the Grande in Michigan and the beauty of the 1st and 7th holes at Rock Hollow are the tip of the iceberg at Poplar Grove. We would suggest Poplar Grove has 13 holes as beautiful and conditioned better than the Grande and Tanglewood Park. I sit here today in this seat and cannot believe this place exists at $41.00 per round."

Any questions on the golf course?"

Senior member Andy Cohen asked, "How many bunkers?" Watson answered, "70. It is 21 more than last year. There are no waste bunkers, but some of these bunkers are deep. I would estimate the greenside bunker at the 12th hole to 7 feet deep."

Any other questions on the golf course?" [no response]

Watson continued, "OK. Although Captains Club opinion is important, there are several facts surrounding the overall Virginia setup when comparing to previous venues. (1) We will experience the lowest priced clubhouse beer ever at $2.00. (2) The distance between course and hotel is the longest ever, but not the longest drive time. (3) There will be 5 different bands playing within walking distance of the hotel plus another band at the baseball stadium. (4) We have the best tee time availability ever including dual tee during the first and final round. (5) The lowest stadium beer prices ever considered possible at $1.00.

Watson, a.k.a. Randy, took a few seconds to breathe and wash out a little cotton-mouth from last night. [He quickly shakes his head] He shouts, "Damn. That tastes good.

A reporter in the back of the room asked, "Are there any reasons to skip Virginia as venue?"

Watson answered, "Poplar Grove was so good during our scouting trip that we would force things into Amherst even if we need to sleep in tents at a campground. The entertainment is better than Peru for sure, but the course is just so enjoyable. The hackers will enjoy hacking like never before."

Jean Dore asked, "How is the economic recession affecting attendance this year?" Watson replied, "We have one known participant not attending due to employment. We called the hotel last week to increase the number of reservations to 45 rooms."

A reporter said, "Are there going to be any hot chicks off the course this year? How about the first Spackler employee, Michelle, we acquired at Jerry's Pub in Michigan? Gumby talked as if it was guaranteed attendance last year." Watson replied, "That is good point. I will talk to Gumby about Michelle. I would suspect that Cattle Annies is a chick haven for Lynchburg.

Any other questions?"

A reporter asked, "Randy. How drunk do you expect to be this year?" Watson replied, "Some. I plan to win this year's tournament. I will start drinking after my first sextuple bogey arrives."

Jason Watson finished the press conference. "This has been a pleasure. I love the Spackler and everyone needs to get their checks into Dosky. I will see you guys soon."

The 2009 Carl Spackler Open Championship registration continues with a postmarked deadline on January 28. There are 78 to 90 participants expected for the 9th Major Championship. There are 21 participants signed representing 6 different states.