June 9, 2009

AMHERST, VA — The remaining stretch to the 2009 Carl Spackler Open is short. Only a few hours are left for field members to get in their last rounds of practice and work out the kinks in their game. The stakes remain the same, a tournament purse and trophy are just the salad to the steak. The Golden Jacket is the prize everyone is seeking.

The field has several familiar faces that are sure to draw crowds of local fans out to the fairway edges to watch for missile-like balls rocketing towards their faces. Glenn Hoffert, Grady Walters, and particularly the return of Randon Mineweaser have all signed to participate.

"This course is really in trouble," exclaimed a zealous Marty Zabonik. "I feel like I am really going to extend my 3rd round from last year with a golf course ass kicking once again. The true rolling greens is the kinda edge that has me excited." Zabonik is one of several players that are sure to be leading the pack after round one. Unfortuately, Zabonik's brief Carl Spackler Open history has him easily ignored.

Mark Wray is looking to rebound from his showings in Indiana and Michigan. "Everyone has no choice but to think my game sucks," says Wray. "This is my time to shine or taking home the crapper. I need to obtain some respect this year."

Greg Garrett has warned the players for months and now warning the media of the very tough finishing holes. "There is perceived tough and statistically tough," says Garrett. "The Captains Club played five rounds at Poplar Grove last September. One-third of our excess strokes (25 of them) came at the last 4 holes."

Poplar Grove was designed by Sam Sneed and Tom Fazio. It is rumored to be in top condition for its first major championship. The first green and approach will be blind from the tee box, but very much in view from the parking lot.

"I am bringing some rookies this year," said Dave Osborne from his garage in Delaware, OH. "These guys probably need a formal hazing. We should be able to get a game plan together on Wednesday night."

Ron and Bruce Saxe come to their first major championship with gold in their hearts and fear in their eyes of the outfits. Their ability or inability to manage the course, its hazards, and most importantly the rookie jitters will be represented on the Tournament Leaderboard by Thursday night.

"I am not as concerned about winning the tournament," says rookie Ron Saxe. "I am playing to lose, wear the outfit, and paint my face like a clown. I dream about the opportunity all the time. My fear is being forced to throw the golf tournament in the final round to wear the Carl Spackler Outfit because my game is much too solid."

The golf facility is rumored to provide near perfect conditions and golfers will not be granted too many excuses for poor play.

"The greens will roll at a speed similar to your kitchen floor," says Pat Boland of St. Louis. "A stimp of 10 1/2 is extremely fast."

Kevin Long, Jr. suggested a new Webb Award winner is in the cards this year. "Cooper sucks right now," said Long in a telephone interview. "I see bad things for him this year. He looks like a disaster out there. That hitch he does with his right arm at the top of the swing is no longer rewarding. His last two rounds were 100+ and it is quite fun to watch. His only other scorecard was his 2009 opener; a 22-over 90 from 5,800 yards."

Several stories are sure to surface as the tournament nears and players begin their migration to Virginia. Who will be the next Cinderella story? Who will be the next Horse's Ass? Who will be the next to create a moment that falls into Spackler lore?