May 5, 2009

TERRA ALTA, WV — With the weather getting better, soccer season winding down and the availability to begin spending more time on the golf course, the Loozers start to un-pack their clubs from GXII.  They dust their golf shoes off and begin whacking the golf balls around, staying up later, drinking more beer and throwing more corn hole.  Realize the amount of effort in each area is not the same for each loozer.  

Bro begins his preparations by filling the fridge in his garage with plastic miller lights then proceeds to empty the fridge over a 2 or 3 day period of time.  Ofcourse collecting a few of the empty’s as perfect spit bottles for his buddy Butter.  Sullivan has begun his preparations this year by spending time sampling the finer whiskey’s available.  Minardi bought some clubs, however they are still in the box from Christmas and Melick has begun lifting.  

Kid Rock has begun saying he is going to fix his slice this year.  Chef has begun to experiment with more bacon recipes.  Grundo has begun to think of excuses why he can’t come again this year.  Sheik has begun loosing weight and Blank and Bartlett have begun to look for more rookies that won’t show up.  Monte and Winthorp have begun to think of what they can bring this year to top the woo woo machine.  

Dosky is trying to figure out what other body part he can get replaced this year since the new hip didn’t seem to help the golf game.  Double G got his shafts reinforced so they can withstand the driving contest this year.  Gordon is trying to figure out how come no one will call his $214 dollar all in bet on a $3 pot.  Mark is taking a nap and Stan is storing up calories.  Gstan has begun talking about showing up for the practice round again, see you Thursday.  Gus is trying to make sure he get’s the time off this year, see you Friday night Gus.  Grandpa has begun taking a new sports drink from GlaxoSmithKline in the mornings and at night to help improve his physique, Geritol.  Geritol is a US trademarked name for various supplements, past and present. Geritol was introduced as an alcohol-based, iron and B vitamin tonic by Pharmaceuticals, Inc. in August, 1950 and primarily marketed as such into the 1970s when Al was in his 50’s.  Just because it’s alcohol-based Al does not mean you should bring a 12 pack to GXIII.

Patio has begun working on his tan and Unlce Mark is still trying to figure out where the hell he is and how he got there.  Watson is frantically trying to figure out where he can get Royal Blue golf shoes to match this year’s shirt.  J.T. sacrifices a chicken again to help ensure his swing does not disappear again this year.  Slick has begun his preparations by walking more so he is in shape enough to not have to ride in the cart and let his partner bring his clubs to him on every shot.  

Brent, Brent, Brent who knows what this guys is doing and who even cares….