July 14, 2009

WHEELING, WV — The Golfapalooza Executive Committee announced today that registration for this year's event will begin July 15. "We've got everything worked out to start signing Loozers up," said Golfapalooza founder G Stan. "Registration will be open for about five weeks or until Sheiker or Butter feels like turning it off. If you know that they really don't like you, it's best that you register quickly before you get locked out."

Sheik then made an announcement about this year's finances. "The event cost this year is $310, a slight increase over last year. We've done our best to keep costs under control but at the same time we don't want to sacrifice quality. I think it was JT that once told me 'don't be a cheap-ass, charge whatever you need to make this work.' We're following his advice and not cutting corners. Another difference over prior years is that any payments processed online will have service charges included. I'm using Google Checkout this year to take credit card payments. In prior years I have not added any extra to these transactions and we have taken a small loss because of this. This year's markup will be $10 additional on top of your total for paying online. After last year I figured out that the fees we paid to Paypal would have paid for Woo Woo mixers for at least three more batches. So don't look at the extra money for using a credit card as a nuisance - think of it as making sure you can pour a pink lemonade slush at 2:00 am between hands of Kings & Little Ones. There are two dollar amounts set up right now. If your total isn't there, shoot me an email and I'll set it up for you. I don't have the time to figure out and set up all of the combinations. I should have asked Real Stan to do that for me."

Over speakerphone from some unknown vacation spot, Butter Flanagan chimed in about the site usage. "We expect registration to go smoothly, but issues always come up. We ask for your patience over the next few days as we see how everything flows. And can someone call Bro for me and ask him to put my garbage out? I don't think I asked him to do it."

70 days until the GXIII practice round. Get those scorecards in, preferably without the sandbags.