September 3, 2009

TERRA ALTA, WV — After crowning Stacy Bartlett with the GXII MELC championship, it was time to pass out the Rookie of the Year trophy.  Unfortunately, for the first time in Golfapalooza history, there was not a single new face at Alpine Lake in 2008.  The Founding Fathers had to fear the worst: Is this the beginning of the end?  Have we reached our peak?  Thoughts of GStan and Butter playing alone at GXX crossed their minds.

Then along came the signing period for GXIII.  Rumors of non attending Loozers were coming out of the woodwork.  Not just fly-by-night Loozers like Cross or Carin, but vested Loozers.  First there was Slick.  Then Dosky.  Then Guy.  Then there was Kid Rock.  Unbelievable.  Kid F'ing Rock. It was the Founding Father's worst nightmare.  Then a strange phenomenon started.  A Rookie signed.  Then a second, and a third.  The flood gates had opened!  A fourth and a fifth, followed by the sixth and the seventh.  

Golfapalooza had been overrun with rookies!  Veterans were licking their chops at the thought of all the fresh meat on the golf course, or the cornhole boards.  Seven people to fetch beer and firewood!  Live it up you Loozers, we will never have it so good.  

The question is, which one of these rookie Loozers wants his name on the trophy that reads like an Hall of Fame List:  Lyme, Melick, Chef, Monte, Carlstrom, Randy, Bartlett and Cane.  A Murderer's Row of Loozer greats.  

Who will be the next name added to the list?