Handicapped to Death
September 29, 2009
POWELL, OH — A handicap is a numerical measure of an amateur golfer's playing ability based on the tees played for a given course. Chairman of the Captains Club, Greg Long, was distributed a handicap with 1-point for bogey and 3-points for par back in January 2009. He was further handicapped on Saturday in ways he did not expect.
Long has a tee time in Texas on October 26. He sent his golf bag with Jason Watson last Tuesday (Sept. 22) afternoon. "Watson was in town for Golfapalooza and heading back to Dallas, TX on Sunday," said Long referring to his trip to South Padre Island. "I did not expect to be playing golf until October 26 in Texas. The transfer of golf bag to Watson's car screamed efficient."
Long, a.k.a. Slick, then remembered on Wednesday evening that he had a tee time at Safari Golf Course on Saturday afternoon with member Brad Carder.
Slick awoke on Saturday morning with rain hitting his bedroom window. The forecast on Saturday included lots more rain. After a cup of coffee, he headed to the attic above the garage for some golf equipment.
"I was thinking a 7-iron and 3-iron from my wife's golf bag plus Carder's putter would be the plan," said Long. "I found a very old men's Wilson 3-iron in the attic, a Hippo 60-degree wedge, and my wife's golf bag and clubs."
Long tossed the men's 3-iron, an umbrella, and men's Hippo wedge into his trunk. He decided to grab the 8, 9 PW, and putter from his wife's golf bag. "I found a small bag of tees from a vendor plus a pair of golf shoes needing a new set of spikes," said Long. "I had everything to complete a round, but still needed a golf ball or two. I could not find a glove and decided to play glove-free."
Slick arrived to the Safari Golf Course and placed 3 range balls from the practice green in his pocket. "I am playing Top-Flite," said Long as he teed up. He hit his first shot successfully down the middle with the 3-iron. In fact, he hit the first 6 fairways with the aged Wilson 3-iron.
"The 3-iron should be a 'varsity' club in my golf bag," said Long of his suceess off the tee. "My Titleist 3-iron should be kicked back to 'junior varsity'. I even hit the first par 3 (195 yards) in regulation with the 3-iron."
Long 3-putted from the fringe at the 2nd hole and 3-putted the 4th hole. Lomg said of the greens, "It is not easy to putt through 1/12-inch of water."
"My first ladies short-iron came in the middle of the fairway at the 5th hole from 113 yards," said Long. "The ladies graphite shaft whipped threw and the ball flew the pin and over the green. My first 'shoulda par' of the day, but did manage bogey."
Long moved to the 6th tee, which starts the 150-yard unhill par 3. He decided on the ladies 9-iron. "It whipped through again," said Long. "Over the green and through the pine trees behind the green. I got lucky and scored bogey on some pretty rain soaked greens."
Long played the next 7 holes at even-par. "My wife's irons are varsity clubs," says Long of the 8-year old Mizuno irons. "I just slowed down the downswing and the range ball zinged off them with a magnet for the flagstick."
Slick arrived to the 17th at 8-over par. He needed a bogey and a par to finish in the 70's. "Those finishing holes are extremely difficult with or without a driver," said Long. The 18th hole is one of the toughest holes ever played." Long took a bogey and double-bogey to finish with a 11-over 81 and 52 points.
"It was an undesirable finish to a rainy educational round," said Slick. "It was great learning experience about aged 3-irons, range balls, and ladies graphite shafts. The lack of driver hurt a little, but range balls seem to work as good as anything I have played. The ladies graphite slowed my swing down and added tremendous control. I did not lose a single range ball on Saturday, but did manage to find a range ball during the round. I finished with 4 striped balls. The Hippo lob wedge is a varsity club too, but not sure how to get them to Texas."