March 4, 2010

KENOSHA, WI — The Vice President of Grass, Tom McCauley announces today the signing of rookie Lars Faus with his national letter of intent to play golf at the 2010 Carl Spackler Open Championship. The 51-year old from the frozen tundra will represent the state of Wisconsin.

"It is my understanding there is some beer drinking at the Carl Spackler Open," says Faus. "We use koozie's in Wisconsin to keep hands from freezing to the beer can."

The Carl Spackler Open has been trying to crack into the state of Wisconsin for a very long time. The Captains Club has been consuming high volumes of golf and beer for nearly 10 years while hoping Governor of Wisconsin or Mayor of Wisconsin would notice and register.

The mayor of Wisconsin was tracked down and asked about Rookie Lars Faus and his chances at the Carl Spackler Open. "We have been desperately looking for quality representation at the Open," says Tom Barrett. "My staff ended up scraping the bottom of the barrel for a candidate that would hack his way into history and return a Golden Jacket to the great city of Milwaukee."

Barrett added, "I have been in contact with Lars several dozen times and during one of the three or four times he was actually lucid he committed to participating in the 2010 Carl Spackler Open.”

Stepping up to the microphone Lars mumbled something about working hard to win a Golden Jacket and then stated, “I have a great desire to take part in the 2010 Carl Spackler Open. I found the website on golfchannel.com and have been monitoring the website for about a year and half. I spent a little extra on my wife for Christmas this year and obtained a full 120-hour kitchen pass a few hours later."

The lack of fan fair gives Faus a 'nothing to lose' attitude, which is always something a rookie could use.

Lars has a son three hours north of San Antonio at Fort Hood. Faus signed in January 2010 with a +26.6 stroke handicap.

"It is darn cold up there in Wisconsin and a new jacket is just the ticket," added Faus. "Practicing is nearly impossible up here, which gives the tournament field an edge. You would not believe the sting from the golf club contacting a golf ball at zero degrees.”  

Faus plans to enter a short drive contest with senior member Dave Osborne on April 15. "There is no way Osborne can be shorter than 180 yards from a tee, but the whole contest should be fun and obviously will generate thousands for charity."

Rookie Lars plans to play off his strengths surrounding course management. “My ability to focus on double-bogey will bring the course to its knees," Faus said. "My ability to concentrate on the tee box while hitting three is unprecendented and will surprise many.”

The rookie has played a wide variety of golf courses and posts a tight  100-stroke average. The 12-scorecard history includes a career-low 25-over 97 at Lake Bluff Golf Club. The all-time highest stroke total is just 10 strokes higher.

"We are extremely excited to sign Lars and add representation from Wisconsin," Chairman of the Captains Club, Greg Long said. "I plan to pick his brain for tips on playing windy Lake Michigan golf courses and apply them in Texas."

In other news, the playing partner preference for the Carl Spackler Open are currently available for selection until March 15, 2010. The transportation schedule and its accuracy will be extremely important in April with 98% of the participants flying to Texas.