March 11, 2010

ST. LOUIS, MO — Matt Boland, the 4-time member of the Carl Spackler Open, has signed up to participate in the 2010 Carl Spackler Open. The report provided by a source suggests he has signed up for golf lessons and is planning a training regimine that will have him in peak physical condition.

"It is great to be back," said Boland. "I started tanning last week. The tanning place has a golf-type spray, which is supposed to soak into the bone and improve the arm strength and flexibility along with a golden beach body to match my jacket."

As the senior medical staffer at the great event, Boland was asked about the emergency protocol or preparation work for the Texas event. "Make sure you have a semi-sober person behind the wheel of the golf cart. Make sure you have your nitro pills handy if you have a heart condition, and bring plenty of sunscreen if you fry like a little girl. Lastly... please do not pickup the snakes."

Matt Boland will join brother Pat to represent the state of Missouri. Matt is the 60th best player in Spackler history. "He sucks under pressure," says buddy Tim Davis. "I will be routing for him from New Zealand."

"I do not think a baby will be a problem this year," says Captains Club member and brother Pat Boland. "Laguna Vista here we come!"

Matt Boland's wife gave birth to children on 7/26/2006, 6/23/2008, and 09/03/2009. "Slick can tell you more than me. It is all about managing your urges and allowing the Red Zone Alert to come and go. This gives every man 300 days to score."

The 2010 Carl Spackler Open Championship begins on April 15 with the traditional practice round. The registration process is open for 4 more days. A complete ground transportation plan will be communicated thereafter.