April 22, 2010

MYRTLE BEACH, SC — Jay Glover is off to a disasterous season. A disaster in comparison when measured against his post-slice career. Something is definitely in the water around Myrtle Beach and Glover is drinking lots of it.

"My kids are pulling my game down," said Glover on the final hole after throwing his putter off the green and across the clubhouse parking lot. "I never play this bad and my driver sucks."

Glover opened the season with a +13.3 USGA Handicap Index. The scorecards have already exceeded 95 strokes and nothing looks promising.

"My golf game is in shambles," said Glover after his initial round at The Witch Golf Club. "The hockey sticks and snowmen are dominating my scorecard. Everything is going left off the tee and penalty strokes are everywhere."

Glover shot a 24-over 96 at The Witch with 3 pars, which all came on par 3 holes. The round also included 5 hockey sticks.

Bootsy played the Pearl Golf Links a few days later with even worse results. The 5-year member of the Carl Spackler Open carded an embarrassing 33-over 105, which included 4 snowmen, 2 hockey sticks, and 2 pars.

"I literally could not hit a drive more than 50 feet," said Glover. "Everything worm burned and duck hooked. I am just glad that my irons were incredible or the scorecards would have been much worse."

The rounds were good for 43 and 38 points. "I have scored the total of those two rounds before in a single round," said Glover. "It is time to seek help at the practice range."

Glover has plans to play again next month at Riverfront Golf Club on May 15 or May 16.

"Holy Disasters Batman!" exclaimed Kevin Long, Jr. of nearby Virginia Beach, VA.

Member Paul Luppino of Weatherford, TX has grabbed the lead of the 2010 Virtual Tournament. He leads Greg Long by 3 points per round and other participants Scott Zavinski and Chris Milam.